How safe is surfing the internet for your children?
There is both reassuring and disturbing news in a comprehensive review of 15 years of research recently published in the Journal of Adolescent Health on internet safety and teens. Here are the three major findings.
1. One in five teens experienced an unwanted online sexual exposure. Lots of teens go to the internet to view pornography, but 20 percent of our kids will be exposed to pop-ups, website links, or sexually explicit pictures without their consent. This can be disturbing to kids, whose normal curiosity may connect them to a rather perverted view of sexuality.
The good news is that these rates have been decreasing in recent years. It may be that our teens are more internet-sophisticated and that educational efforts are having an impact.
2. About one in nine of our teens will be solicited for an unwanted sexual experience. That’s scary for parents, as well as for kids. While most youngsters quickly reject or ignore such offers, other teens are intrigued or susceptible.
Teens go online just like the rest of us, for entertainment but also for social interaction. For many kids, living in the real world is tough. They feel compelled to act in certain ways, only saying things that are acceptable to peers and parents. It’s like wearing a mask, pretending to be one way while feeling quite differently.
For these teens, the internet is one place they feel they can be themselves, comforted by the anonymity of exploring confusing feelings and saying whatever they want without worrying about any consequences. These are kids who are vulnerable to the grooming process used by sexual predators. These teens felt safe and accepted when they are actually being manipulated for the sexual gratification of an older person.
Don’t overreact to this statistic. The same unwanted sexual advances occur offline as well, and probably much more frequently given the high rates of child sexual abuse.
3. Boys are at greater risk for unwanted online sexual solicitation than girls. This finding was a surprise to me. I thought that given the higher rates of sexual abuse of girls, the same pattern would occur online. It’s unclear why this is the case. Perhaps boys visit different types of websites. This again emphasizes the importance of educating our teens of both genders.
Just as we’ve taught our kids how to minimize the risk of other dangerous activities (e.g., driving a car), we need to educate our kids about internet safety. Focus on kids who are most vulnerable to these risks, and provide more supervision and support.
What about internet safety for younger kids? Stay tuned, as long-term studies are not yet available.
Next week: Kids of helicopter parents — how do they turn out?
Dr. Ramey is the executive director of Dayton Children's Hospital's Pediatric Center for Mental Health Resources and can be contacted at Rameyg@childrensdayton. org. Heloise
Dear readers: This is the best time for backyard barbecues. Food just seems to taste so much better when it’s cooked outside with family and friends. Here are some steps you should take (particularly if you’re new to grilling) to be sure the barbecue is a safe and tasty one.
■ Where to put your grill. Put a charcoal grill in an open area, away from anything combustible and never on top of dry, brittle grass or plants. If it’s close to your house, shut windows and doors to make sure cinders don’t fly inside.
■ Lighting the coals. Never light coals with gasoline or kerosene because they can cause explosions. Don’t add extra starter fluid to hot or warm coals because flare-ups can be dangerous. Always watch your children and pets. Keep them away from the grill area.
■ When you are grilling. Don’t wear clothing, aprons, shirts or dresses with flowing sleeves because they could float across the grill and catch fire. To prevent burns, wear heat-resistant cooking mitts and use longhandled utensils. Place an emergency first-aid kit near the grill.
■ When cooking with an open grill and flames. Keep a jug of water or a spray bottle filled with water near for emergencies. You also can keep a fire extinguisher close at hand. Don’t leave the grill unattended at any time during the party because accidents can happen quickly.
— Heloise
Freezing a cake
Dear Heloise: I tried to freeze a cake some time ago, and it turned out soggy. I need to freeze one again. How can I do it successfully? — Terry from North Carolina
Dear Terry: Try this: When you have to freeze a cake, it’s better to freeze it without the filling or frosting because they will make the cake soggy.
1. Wrap the cake in several layers of plastic after it has cooled completely and then place it into a container so it doesn’t get crushed. Be aware that cakes will not freeze completely solid.
2. To thaw the cake, don’t take the wrapping off right away. Instead, allow the cake to thaw at room temperature, which could take an hour or so.
Note: Unfrosted cakes freeze well for up to three months. Frosted ones will be OK for about one month.
— Heloise
Just as we've taught our kids how to minimize the risk of other dangerous activities (e.g., driving a car), we need to educate our kids about internet safety.
Household Hints
Hard-water spots on shower frames
Dear readers: Often, these spots on shower frames are unavoidable because of hard water. They look ugly, but here’s a good way to eliminate them.
First, mix half household vinegar with half water. Scrub the frame thoroughly, and to clean the corners, dip a toothbrush into the mixture and rub it into the corners. Then dry completely. Polish the frame with a paste wax, like car wax, to prevent the spots from recurring. If you clean the door frame frequently, the buildup will not happen.
— Heloise
Removing tar from shoes
Dear readers: Tar becomes sticky in the summer heat. If you suddenly notice black tar stuck to the bottom or sides of your rubber-soled shoes, here’s how to remove it:
Try to scrape off as much as possible with a disposable plastic knife (be careful not to damage the shoe areas above the rubber). Scrub with warm water and a dishwashing detergent that’s good for removing oil and grease. When tar is gone, rinse thoroughly. You also can buy commercial cleaners that can do this job.
— Heloise
Egg freshness test
Dear readers: If you are concerned that the eggs in your refrigerator are too old, try this easy test on each one. Here’s how: Dissolve 2 tablespoons of salt in 2 cups of cold water in a bowl. Place the eggs in the bowl. If they sink to the bottom, they are fresh. But if they float to the top, they are not fresh enough to eat.
— Heloise