Why are our kids so anxious?
It doesn’t seem right to use the word anxiety and childhood in the same sentence. Kids have few responsibilities, lots of free time, and numerous opportunities to play sports and video games, or just hang around with friends. Their most significant responsibilities are to keep their room clean and try hard in school. Compared with life as an adult, most kids have it pretty easy.
It’s perplexing that anxiety is one of the most common forms of childhood mental illness and appears to be increasing in recent years. About one-third of our kids will have a significant anxiety disorder during their childhood. In 1985, 18 percent of our high school seniors reported feeling “overwhelmed,” a rate that increased to 41 percent in 2016.
As with most mental disorders, the causes are complex and uncertain. One significant factor is the increase in kids’ sense of perfectionism. Many kids feel that others expect them to never fail, and they’ve embraced those unattainable standards as their own. Striving for something that will never be achieved keeps these youngsters in a continuous state of apprehension about failure.
A second factor is our kids’ lack of confidence in themselves. Raised by overprotective and controlling parents, these youngsters feel overly anxious about what others think and uncomfortable dealing with routine problems. They fear failure but are ill-equipped to navigate such simple problems as dealing with a difficult teacher or resolving a problem with a friend. These kids get stuck in an endless cycle of self-rumination, worrying about all kinds of things that will never happen.
Here are the three important things to know about childhood anxiety.
1. Get help early. Left untreated, childhood anxiety can continue throughout adulthood. This disorder manifests itself around age eight and is typically reflected in kids’ feeling nervous, seeking constant reassurance, and having problems making any decisions.
2. Therapy is effective. Anxiety disorders are among the most common and easily treated psychological problems. In most cases, a cognitive-behavioral approach is very effective. This involves challenging kids’ unhealthy thought patterns and helping them view the world a bit differently. While anxiety is referred to as a mood disorder, the real pathology is the way children think about themselves and others.
Kids don’t get better by simply talking to someone else. Effective therapy helps kids change their behavior patterns. When they experience success in making small changes, the underlying belief systems change as well.
3. Expect a relapse. Some kids have a predisposition to anxiety due to their hypersensitivity or other factors. These youth need periodic follow-up care and treatment to relearn the techniques to help them relax and enjoy life.
Next week: What do you regret as a parent?
Dr. Ramey is the executive director of Dayton Children's Hospital's Pediatric Center for Mental Health Resources and can be contacted at Rameyg@childrensdayton. org.
Going camping
Dear readers: Planning to camp this fall? Here’s one indispensable item every camper should include for the trip — a box of baking soda, which can be used in so many ways. Try these hints:
■ As a deodorant. Dust baking soda under your arms.
■ Soothe bug bites. Mix baking soda and water into a paste and apply to bites.
■ Extinguish a campfire. Toss baking soda on a campfire to put it out.
■ Use as a temporary toothpaste. Blend baking soda and water to clean your teeth.
■ Freshen smelly hiking boots or clothing. Sprinkle baking soda over them to absorb stinky odors.
— Heloise
Cleaning out the spice rack
Dear Heloise:
I just realized that my large spice rack is filled with spices that I haven’t used in ages. What’s the best way to sort them all out? — Amy from Ohio
Dear Amy: If you love using spices, like most of us, your rack probably has new and old spices, and many could be stale. You should try to clear out your spice rack annually. Here’s what to do: Open the can or jar of herbs or spices and take a healthy sniff. The contents should smell flavorful and strong. The color of the spices should be bright. You can keep these. But if the aroma is flat or the color is off, toss the spice out.
To make spices and herbs last longer, storing them properly is key. Do not place them near light, heat or moisture, which means you shouldn’t keep them over the stove or on a windowsill.
When you are done cleaning up, line up your spices alphabetically so that you can find what you need more quickly when you are cooking. — Heloise
Children’s party idea
Dear Heloise: I have several small children, and birthdays are a big deal in our house. To make it easy and less messy for me, I came up with a party idea that kids love.
I make cupcakes in flat-bottomed ice cream cones. I fill the cones about two-thirds full of batter and bake according to directions. Just before I take them out of the oven, I frost them by putting a marshmallow on the top off each cupcake until it melts. This is a big hit with my children and their party guests. — Becky from Oregon
Dust mites
Dear readers: If you suspect you have dust mites in your bedroom, here’s how to get rid of them:
Wash pillows, pillowcases, sheets and blankets in water that is at least 130 degrees F. Hot water should solve the problem. But if mites persist, wash bedding weekly or more often if needed. You also can get special covers for pillows and mattresses, so mites don’t have access.
To prevent this problem, be aware that mites’ favorite food sources include dead skin cells from you and your pets. One solution is to keep dogs or cats out of the bedroom. Vacuum and dust the bedroom often. — Heloise