Here is the news: Changing rituals can help
I regularly watch the evening news. You know the one where the buttoned-down broadcaster fills us in on the highlights of the horrific day. It lasts a mere 30 minutes with probably 15 minutes of commercials. That’s all been well and good for the past few decades — watching the news keeps me informed — but lately I’ve resorted to recording the show and watching it later.
Yes, I want to know what’s going on in the world. I don’t want to close myself off. But I prefer to watch the news later, so I can skip over the dozens of health-related ads that keep telling me I have a disease I never knew about, and that I should probably talk with my doctor immediately — oh, and by the way, the side effects of the medication that I’ll need are lethal. The latest advertising is for tooth restoration with before-and-after photos. I don’t know about you, but pictures of toothless people before they have had a restoration takes away my appetite for dinner.
So now I fast-forward through the commercials, whenever the newscaster takes a break, and my reaction time is getting better and better. I usually manage to miss them all.
And then there’s the news itself. Again I know it’s important to stay informed, but I just want the facts. When the newscaster warns that there are graphic images about to be shown, I usually look away. Unfortunately, graphic violence has become a regular part of our lives. TV is all about graphics, so we see it. I wonder about the effect, and indeed it has made me skip over anything that upsets me on TV.
It’s important to stay informed, but it’s also important to take care of yourself and your loved ones. And this means avoiding visual trauma, if you can, when it comes in the form of news or advertising.
In case you were wondering, this also goes for video games. We all know that the rise in teen violence can be linked to video game addiction. And even if your child is not addicted, a bad attitude can come just from the overstimulation, which is why you need to monitor what your kid is playing. Rule of thumb, if it makes you shutter, limit the time on that game greatly.
You can change the rules. You can set the DVR and skip the ads altogether, you can watch the news less, allow the kids less game time, and you can tell yourself that you want your life to be pleasant, and reinforce that reality by acting accordingly. All of that will improve your outlook and let you live your live with less toxicity. That’s how things can get better — by changing them.
Protecting yourself and your loved ones from emotional trauma is a good thing to do. It does not mean that you are somehow less of a person. Frankly it’s good for your humanity to take a stand for civility, which seems to have gotten a little lost in the past couple of years. Dr. Barton Goldsmith, a psychotherapist in Westlake Village, Calif., is the author of "The Happy Couple: How to Make Happiness a Habit One Little Loving Thing at a Time." Follow his daily insights on Twitter @ BartonGoldsmith