Letting kids drink alcohol at home isn’t the answer

Many years ago, I got into a heated argument with a neighbor who allowed his teenage son and his friends to drink alcohol at their house. My neighbor felt that since most kids drank alcohol, why not provide a safe environment for that to occur?

I thought my neighbor was reckless and was sending the wrong message to kids about underage drinking. A recent study conducted in Australia confirms the dangers of parents serving alcohol to their teens.

The researchers initially enrolled parents of 2,000 young teens, and then evaluated these kids over a six-year period. The experts discovered that adolescents whose parents supplied them with alcohol had a significantly higher rate of binge consumption, alcohol-related harm, and symptoms of alcohol use disorder.

This is an important finding. The Centers for Disease Control (CDC) has characterized alcohol as “the most commonly used and abused drug among youth in the United States.” CDC reported that excessive use of alcohol is responsible for about 88,000 deaths every year, of which 4,300 are youth.

There is some evidence that alcohol use among our kids is trending downward, but remains problematic. About 30 percent of high school kids reported drinking in the previous 30 days, and 17 percent admitted to riding in a car with a driver who had been drinking. Alcohol usage by kids is related to problems ranging from unwanted sexual activity, accidents, school issues, and social dysfunction.

Alcohol is socially acceptable, easily available, and a pleasant way to alter one’s mood. If teaching kids how to drink safely at home doesn’t work, what is effective?

One of the greatest challenges of raising teenagers is helping them learn about mood regulation. They feel life so intensely. Some of their emotions are pleasant, while others are frightening, depressing, or anxiety provoking. Preaching to kids about the dangers of alcohol won’t work unless we teach them other ways to understand, express, and control their feelings.

1. Start in preschool. It’s not your feelings that get you in trouble, but rather how you express them. Help kids learn at an early age how to deal with intense feelings of frustration or anger.

2. One approach doesn’t work for everyone. I help kids develop a list of “OK” and “not OK” ways to express intense emotions. These strategies change as your child matures.

3. Be a great role model. Be more communicative about your own moods. However, do more than acknowledge when you’ve had a bad day. Be open and specific with your teen about how you manage those feelings.

4. Accept being uncomfortable. Life isn’t always positive and pleasant. Help your child expect and prepare to manage the tough times, rather than expecting that life should always feel enjoyable and nice.

Dr. Ramey is the executive director of Dayton Children's Hospital's Pediatric Center for Mental Health Resources and can be contacted at Rameyg@childrensdayton. org.