Mom is put out by stepdad who tattles on her daughter

Dear Abby: My husband and I have been together for 12 years. I have a daughter from a previous relationship who is now 16. They have had their ups and downs. What irritates me to no end is, my husband tattles on my daughter.

Today she wanted to come home from school because she felt nauseated. My husband had the day off, and even though he didn’t want to, he picked her up from school. He proceeded to text me at work later on in the day to let me know that she was eating waffles and chicken nuggets.

I can’t control what my daughter eats when I’m not there. This isn’t the first time something like this has happened. The issues between them are much deeper, but I cannot stand his tattling. If my child says she’s nauseated and then eats waffles, she must learn somehow that they are not conducive to feeling better. My husband going out of his way to rat on her when she does things like this seems overboard. Am I crazy for feeling this way?! — Seeking Peace at Home

Dear Seeking Peace: You are not crazy for feeling this way. You ARE crazy for not having it out with your husband rather than complain to me, and for not insisting the three of you get counseling from a licensed marriage and family therapist to iron out those “deeper issues.”

P.S. Waffles and chicken nuggets are considered comfort food. What your daughter may have needed that day was comfort. If the foods she chose were not conducive to feeling better, your husband could have suggested a better option. (Chicken broth?)

Dear Abby: I went out with some girlfriends a few weeks ago. We began chatting and, after a while, I started to notice things that made me feel disconnected from them. After thinking about it later, I realized that although we have known each other for 10 years, we no longer have much in common.

We used to work together and shared that, but it’s no longer the case. I think I might have more in common with others. We never fight, and they are wonderful people, but each time I open myself up to them, I feel judged and different. How do you suggest I maintain my friendships? Is it worth it? — Faithful Friend in Ohio

Dear Friend: If the only thing these women brought to your relationship was the fact that you used to work together, and because circumstances have changed, it may be time to re-evaluate how important these workplace friendships are to you. Friends do not have to think in lockstep, and they shouldn’t make you feel judged if your opinions differ from theirs.

A way to maintain friendships like these is to see the individuals less often and, when you do, talk about the things you do have in common. If that doesn’t work, realize that not all friendships last forever and move on. Sometimes friendships run their course, and this may be one of those times.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby. com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

DEAR READERS: When you get tired of seemingly endless commercials, get up from your couch and straighten up the room you are in, if it’s messy or cluttered. It’s amazing what you can achieve in several minutes. For example:

■ Put back what needs to be in place, such as pillows or books.

■ Get rid of piles of old newspapers or magazines. But first go through them to clip articles that you want to save and scan them into your computer.

■ If the rug looks dirty, get out the vacuum and run it over the rug to pick up debris and crumbs.

■ When you bring more food or drink into the room, take out the dirty glasses and plates that need to go in the dishwasher. Don’t leave the room empty-handed. — Heloise

MAKING LAUNDRY EASIER

DEAR HELOISE: Laundry just piles up in our home. It gets to be such a dreaded chore for me that I put it off until there is no room in our

Use these hints so this necessary task becomes less of a big deal. And get your family involved!

First, to prevent a huge weekend laundry day, see if you can do one or more loads of clothing during the week. Then get everyone’s laundry organized by assigning a different color basket to each family member. They will fill it with their clothes and take it to the laundry room. In the laundry room, to make sorting clothes easier, place a number of other baskets and label each one jeans, towels, sheets, darks, lights, etc. This will cut down on sorting time. — Heloise

SAFEGUARDING CREDIT CARDS

DEAR READERS: Identity theft is a big problem, and it’s really important that you protect your identity and credit cards. When you get a new card, sign it in ink and record all of the information. Keep it in a safe place in your house. Here are more hints to help:

■ Do not lend your credit cards to anyone. Don’t leave your card or receipts behind where people could find them.

■ Tear up unneeded receipts, but save key receipts for your tax files.

■ Never give out your credit card number over the phone unless you have made the call. Scammers call claiming that they are checking your record and numbers. Do not give out your personal information

SEND A GREAT HINT TO: Heloise Box 795001 San Antonio, TX 78279-5001 Fax: 1-210-HELOISE Email: Heloise@Heloise.com