Kids and the Capitol: What to say to them
Teacher explains howhe addressed Wednesday’s violence.
Childrenofall ages sawWednesday’s riot at the U.S. Capitol — both the fifighting and violence, as well as the temporary threat to a peaceful transition of government.
Experts are encouraging parents to talk to their kids about what happened, in an age-appropriate way, and to really listen for what kids need. Erich Merkle, past president of both the Ohio Psychological Association
and the Ohio School Psychologists Association, said it’s important to reassure children that they’re safe, and can ask questions.
“It’snot about having themagic words. It’s simply about… letting kids talk aboutwhere they’re at, what they’re experiencing and what they’re concerned about,” Merkle said. “Some adults may want to avoid diffifficult topics, but children often knowwhen something scary is happening, and if adults don’t talk about it, a child canoverestimatewhat iswrongor misinterpret an adult’s silence.”
The American Academy of Pediatrics has a guide to talking
with children about tragic events. Across the board, they encourage asking kids what they’ve already heard, avoiding graphic imagery and being straightforward with them.
Howmuchdetailyoushare will vary by age though.
Angela Worley of Dayton said she didn’t think her 14-year-old daughter “understood the enormity” ofWednesday’s insurrection. But she saidher daughterdid point out discrepancies in howsome police stood by as Trump supporters stormed the Capitol, compared with how some police forcefully responded to racial justice protesters last summer.
“The kids nowadays are so desensitized. All their lives, they’ve been inundated with imagery, and I don’t think it resonatedwith her as intensely as it didwith me,” Worley said. “I had to remind her how government is supposed to work andthatourwordsmatter.… that freedom of speech and freedomto assembledoesn’t exonerate you fromresponsibility or consequences of your actions.”
Scott Byer teaches American Government classes at Kettering Fairmont High School, so discussions of political tensions in class are not new.
He said he and his students covereda lot of ground Thursday — that free, fair elections and the peaceful transfer of power are the pillars ofAmericandemocracy, how Wednesday’s uprising affffffffffffects other nations’ perspective on America, and where our country will go from here.
“Students’ emotions ranged from confusion to anger, to sadness,” Byer said. “Several students were saying,‘We are better thanthis.’ … and some asked, are we at a crossroads moving forward ( as a nation)?
Byer said the teens had debate about how two core values of the nation (diversityandunity) worktogether, andwhetherAmericans can peacefully agree to disagree on some things.
To that end, Byer said he would continue to work on a classroom culture where students feel respected, to create a platform for good debate, while also teaching students to fifind and rely on credible sources of information.
Merkle said parents can help their kids understand theworld by teaching them to be good citizens — to be broadly informed about the issues, to vote in elections and be involved.
For younger kids, Merkle said parents can compare America to their families. Both have leaders who set the rules (what the kids eat for dinner, or when they can play video games), and there’s a right to debate, but there can be consequences to too.o.
Merkle said children were already going through a tough time. COVID-19meant some kids lost familymembers and others lost jobs. Some children felt the violence and tension tied to last year’s social justice protests, and many children havebeenmoreisolatedthan usual as many schools have been closed.
“Find a quietmoment so the kids can be the center of your attention,” Merkle said. “Ask what they really want to know, and then listen, listen and listen. Share your own feelings. You’re human. Show that even though you’re upset, you can pull yourself together. This is where you want to be a role model. … Tell the truth at a developmental level they can understand. And it’s OK to say, ‘I don’t know.’”