Domestic violence is now a pandemic within a pandemic
With the Gabby Petito tragedy, domestic violence is back in the news. In fact, domestic violence has become the pandemic within the COVID-19 pandemic. During “normal” times, one in four women will experience intimate partner violence. During “normal” times, a woman is shot and killed by her spouse or intimate partner every 16 hours. With the onset of COVID, Artemis Center has seen an increase in domestic violence, sexual assault and stalking cases.
Although Petito was strangled, more often firearms are an abuser’s weapon of choice. Guns can be used for intimidation or coercion. The mere presence of a gun creates a power imbalance and keeps a victim in fear of what could happen if they attempt to leave.
Domestic violence is about gaining and maintaining power and control over an intimate partner. An abuser uses a variety of tactics to control and coerce their partner. Tactics include physical, sexual, emotional, spiritual, and financial abuse, threats and reproductive coercion. Abusers often “gaslight” and ridicule their partners, making victims feel foolish for thoughts and behaviors and convincing them that abuse is their fault. Isolation is an effective tactic.
You may wonder, “Why does a victim stay in an abusive relationship?” Victims stay for many reasons: love, fear, finances, vows, children, and lack of resources. In 40% to 60% of families where a batterer abuses their partner, they also abuse the children. If the abuser is the biological parent, the victim may choose to stay rather than take the risk that the abuser will get parenting time alone with the children. A victim, usually the mother, will take almost any abuse to keep their children safe.
Leaving an abuser is dangerous and can be fatal. Sometimes abusers will decide, “If I can’t have you no one will.” 75% of female intimate partner homicides occur within the first three months of separation.
Domestic violence can be fatal for abusers, as well. Locally, 25% of domestic violence-related homicides have been homicide/suicides, and all of them were perpetrated by men. Firearms are used in more than half of all suicides among males.
Most victims leave eventually. Leaving is a process that happens in stages. While the vast majority of victims never go to shelter, in the short term they still need safety, time, and opportunity to make long term arrangements while fleeing their abusers.
Artemis Center operates a 24/7 Domestic Violence Hotline in Montgomery County.
We offer supportive services, such as support groups and therapy for adults and children to promote long term healing. Our advocates accompany victims to both criminal trials and civil protection order hearings, providing support and information.
Domestic violence crosses socio-economic, class, race and religious demographics. While Petito was white, Black, Latinx, and Native American women bear a disproportionately greater risk of gun death at the hands of their abuser than non-Latinx white women. This also affects the LGBTQ community at the same rates as their heterosexual counterparts.
Domestic violence is a community concern, not a private matter. The violence follows victims to work, worship, daycare centers, schools, grocery stores and on vacation. In the Petito case, domestic violence was part of #VanLife. Artemis is not alone in our efforts to end domestic violence. We collaborate with numerous community organizations to remove barriers for victims and increase their safety. At the state level, the Ohio Supreme Court issued new forms to facilitate the removal of an abuser’s guns as part of the Civil Protection Order process. We must hold abusers accountable and keep guns out of their hands. We must not blame victims for the abuse.
If you know someone who is experiencing domestic violence, refer them to the Domestic Violence Hotline at 937-461HELP (4357).