Scholarship for mental health awareness honors late mother
On February 19, 1973, I experienced one of the most tragic events a child could encounter: I lost my mother, Ethel Hayes, to suicide. She was 29 at the time and I was only 11. From that moment on, my life changed forever.
Throughout the majority of my childhood, I carried tremendous shame and guilt as I grappled with severe trauma and loss. Born and raised in Dayton, Ohio, I walked the halls of Stivers Patterson hiding the loss of my mother. As a young Black male, I quickly realized that mental health was not well understood or openly discussed within the Black community. Therefore, I suppressed my feelings, an approach that caused many challenges for me later in life.
After high school, I had a successful career in the United States Air Force and retired as a Master Sergeant from Wright-Patterson Air Force Base in Dayton. At 49 years old, I decided to learn more about psychology to better understand what took place in my mother’s life. Studying mental health issues, disorders, and behaviors that can lead to suicide gave me a better understanding of what my mom might have gone through in the 29 years of her life. In 2014, I obtained my bachelor’s degree. By 2016, I completed my master’s, and then in 2020, I completed my doctoral degree at Liberty University.
It wasn’t until I became an adult and started journaling about my childhood that I found my voice. I finally realized that healing is possible after great loss. By raising awareness and destigmatizing mental health topics, I could prevent another young boy or girl from experiencing the same trauma that I endured. I started sharing my childhood experience publicly through word of mouth and social media. One of my high school peers commented on one of my Facebook posts, “I didn’t know you went through this while in school.”
When I was completing my doctorate in 2020, I wanted to create something in loving memory of my mother. Then, I discovered Bold.org and created the Ethel Hayes Destigmatization of Mental Health Scholarship to reach students and destigmatize mental health topics in the Black community. The first round of the scholarship was a huge success. As people throughout the country contributed to the scholarship, we were able to increase the scholarship amount and award two students. This year, our goal is $10,000, and we have three more weeks left until applications close. The scholarship currently sits at $9,000, and we are only $1,000 away from reaching our goal.
Creating this scholarship has been an amazing way to give back to the community and honor my mother’s memory. Throughout my entire experience, I continually attribute my perseverance and accomplishments to my faith in God. I often recite this passage as my saving grace; “Thou will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on thee” (Isaiah 26:3).