Childhood friend knows truth of man’s parentage

We don’t communicate regularly, but Becky and I are friends on Facebook. I believe she’s having health issues now. Abby, if she passes away, do you think I should let Matt know who his father was and let him know about his aunt? — Old Friend in California

Dear Old Friend: If Becky’s health problems are life-threatening, she’s the person you should consider approaching. The question you should pose is this: Would she want her son to think he’s all alone in the world after she’s gone?

I do not think you should lay this news on Matt after his mother’s death. His parents would not be there to answer his inevitable questions, and he would likely feel hurt and angry that he wasn’t told the truth.

Dear Abby: My wife is an active member of her church, whereas I am a nonbeliever. It is, of course, her right to practice her religion and enjoy belonging to a community of like-minded people. The difficulty stems from the many hours spent every week above and beyond the services, such as prayer sessions, Bible study groups, etc.

I have begun to resent her heavy involvement in church administration that has nothing to do with worship, and the resulting lack of spontaneity in our relationship. To plan an activity or vacation, she needs at least two months’ notice because of her never-ending, self-imposed commitments.

Our marriage has no other major issues. We try to find a balance, but it’s not easy. What advice do you have for us? — Faithless in France

Dear Faithless: Does your wife realize you are so upset about the imbalance in her relationship to the church and to YOU that you wrote to an advice columnist for help? By all means, tell her. The two of you are overdue for a serious discussion about the way she budgets her time, since you feel cheated. Begin that conversation now and, if necessary, involve a mediator.

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