How can we defuse conflict on the streets?
Conflict resolution can calm disagreements
When Anthony Hall attempted to break up a fight between two young men he knew, he became the victim himself.
“I pushed my sister, and I ended up getting shot,” said the violence intervention specialist. “If I didn’t push my sister, my sister would probably be dead.”
I noticed a recurring theme this summer in Rochester while reporting for the “City On Fire” Podcast, an audio storytelling project examining rising temperatures’ effects on public safety: Violence is usually the result of unresolved interpersonal conflict.
From slight disagreements to vendettas steeped in revenge, conflict is the powder keg that many things, including extreme heat, threaten to expose.
That got me thinking: Is there an effective way to stop a beef before it explodes, if you witness a conflict erupting on the street?
I knew the perfect person to ask: my wonderful mother, Lynda Bell.
Bell worked for Rochester’s Center For Dispute Settlement for six years, specializing in conflict resolution.
CDS is an alternative dispute resolution center that tries to devise different ways to address and think about conflict in schools, homes, and the workplace.
Listening is a key to resolving street conflict sometimes
Anthony Hall was harmed during his experience attempting to solve a street clash, but Bell says he was the perfect person to try to resolve the issue.
“When people are in the heat of something unless you are someone who is trusted by both of them, you shouldn’t be getting involved,” she said. And if you are, you still need to understand conflict resolution. That’s not a mediation moment; you can’t mediate on the street.”
A significant aspect of conflict resolution is listening instead of telling people how they should act or feel. It’s a crucial tactic Bell has used throughout her career to stop two people from wanting to harm one another.
“You have to know the difference between asking ‘what’s wrong with you’ and asking ‘what’s happening here?”
A 2011 FBI report showed that 54.3 percent of gun violence victims knew their killer, and a study by the Violence
Policy Center found that 93 percent of female victims knew their male assailants.
Friends, family, neighbors, and coworkers can often be more significant threats than strangers.
“We all want to be in good relation with one another,” my mother said during our interview. “It just gets hard day to day to do that.”
It takes trust to reach out to a troubled teen
It can be especially difficult for adolescents. And a hot or muggy summer in Rochester brings out issues for people. It also puts them outside and rubbing shoulders in a way that winter doesn’t.
Bell worked decades in the youth development space before specializing in conflict resolution. In her experience, teenagers are least conscious of how their brain responds to conflict.
“For them, it’s fight or flight,” she said. “They want to resolve conflict, but they have triggers.”
She said the best way to reach a young person in this situation is to trust that they already have the skills to resolve their issue; you must be patient and guide them to the existing answer.
“Resolution is within each individual person,” she said. “People know what’s best for them.”
Sometimes, what’s best isn’t a perfect solution. Bell spoke about sessions where the resolution two people in conflict arrived at was no further interaction, “and that’s OK,” she said.
“I don’t have to have a relationship with you; I just don’t want to spit on the street when I see you.”
Bell believes lessons learned during those sessions can overcome habitual ways of dealing with dissent and lead to a knowledge base that people can use at home, school, and the workplace.
“We don’t have enough people that believe in conflict resolution,” she said. “Believers would breed practitioners. If we don’t believe in it, then we don’t have the capacity to stop conflict.”