We all need an Elmo in our lives
Kindness, it appears, comes in many forms – in this case, we’re talking red, hairy and adorable.
Last month, the Sesame Street character Elmo took to social media to pose a question to the masses.
“Elmo is just checking in! How is everybody doing?”
The post has garnered more than 210 million views on the social media platform, X, with almost 60,000 reposts and 161,000 likes. Even more surprising has been the variety in the 20,000 responses Elmo has received:
“Hey Elmo, just had a birthday, but feeling kinda lonely.”
“Not well. My dad passed away completely unexpectedly and I’m overwhelmed with grief. Thank you for asking. It helps.”
“Elmo, I’m having a rough time. Love you, though.”
And perhaps, most telling:
“Elmo – causing one of the most honest conversations about our collective mental health crisis and the lack of awareness and understanding is amazing, and sad and heartbreaking.”
We need spaces to express our emotions without judgment
The candid nature of these responses highlights the growing need we have for a safe, unbiased space where people can speak their truth.
As a therapist, I was taught the concept of a “holding environment” early in my graduate studies. The term, coined by English pediatrician and psychoanalyst Donald Woods Winnicott, refers to the notion of an unconditionally loving and compassionate environment in which an individual can express and process their emotions without fear of judgment.
Talk therapy is one of the few tools a person can use to feel seen and heard. However, as we get older, adulting takes over and we find ourselves increasingly busy with life’s responsibilities – work, kids, bills, housekeeping, caregiving. The list grows and, unfortunately, so do the barriers to seeking therapy, whether it’s lack of time, insight or financial resources.
In a world that has been rocked by a pandemic, and in a society that grows more polarized by the day, we have forgotten about the power and importance of a safe space. We have gone so long without that we are no longer are aware of the emotional void that exists in our lives. While some people truly need therapy, almost everyone stands to benefit from it.
The COVID pandemic was a significant setback in the collective mental health of the global community. Individuals had to deal with fear, isolation, medical complexities, grief and loss. All of that led to a significant increase in anxiety and depression.
The ability to voice and externalize issues is more powerful than most recognize or give it credit for. And yet, with expressing one’s emotions comes intense vulnerability, which many view as a sign of weakness. Vulnerability is undoubtedly uncomfortable, but so is silence, and there is so much more to be gained from doing the work instead of avoiding it.
Adults responded to Elmo’s social media post
The overwhelming majority of individuals who responded to Elmo were adults, and yet his target audience is one of the most vulnerable populations we have – children. If mental health is being addressed by one of the world’s most watched, loved and influential little monsters, I can’t help but feel optimistic about the ability of future generations to lead with vulnerability, insight and a willingness to lean into their holding environments.
In one brief but thoughtful post, Elmo (and his producers) created a holding environment with a message that resonated far and wide among his followers: Elmo cares about you, and he genuinely wants to know how you’re doing.
Elmo provided millions of his fans with the opportunity to feel safe, seen, heard and loved. In doing so, he reminded all of us not only to seek a safe emotional space for ourselves, but to treat those around us with compassion, empathy and kindness as well.
That’s pretty impressive for a 31⁄ 2- year-old Muppet.
Neha Patil Kumar is a licensed marriage and family therapist and the clinical director (Orange County, California) at Alter Behavioral Health, a mental health treatment center for adults and families with complex psychiatric disorders.