LOVING JUST ‘LIKE FAMILY’
TChristina Hall
hey’ve been through births and deaths together. Birthday parties, euchre parties, dinner parties. One-night outings and weekend excursions. For at least the last 40 years. Seven couples. Fourteen friends. But to call these Michiganders friends is an understatement. “We love each other like family,” said Sandy Balone of West Bloomfield. “We are family. It’s our village. We are there for each other all the time,” said Darlene Tuladziecki of Harrison Township. “I couldn’t imagine my life without any of these guys.”
Dennis Torrey of Sterling Heights — who dubbed the group of seven guys and seven gals “Friends For Life” — said “we’ve just been such a tight group. A couple of these guys are closer to me than my brother.”
On Valentine’s Day, the group’s bond is a unique reminder of how important love and friendship is — to the past, to the present and to the future.
Some in the group have known each other since elementary school. Many went to school together at Osborn High in Detroit in the 1970s. Others knew members of the group or married someone in the group and blended right in.
They attended each other’s weddings. Many stood up in each other’s weddings.
Then, babies came. Seventeen in all.
But neither work, nor marriage, nor children and all their activities, nor a few moves away from immediate metro Detroit kept this bunch apart.
Sandy and Larry; Chuck and Lisa; Barb and Bill; Cheryl and Jack; Geralyn and Steve; Dennis and Kim; Dave and Darlene.
“I think it’s unconditional friendship and love,” said Lisa Ciaravino of Gaines, Michigan, at age 57, the youngest in the group. “This is sincerity. This is not social media cover-up stuff.”
And that’s important in today’s world of Twitter, Instagram and Facebook, where people have “friends” — sometimes hundreds or even thousands of them.
While the group of 14 uses tech tools to communicate, they still pick up the phone and each other.
“If the phone rings and I see it’s Darlene or Cheryl, I think ‘I gotta get those calls,’ ” said Geralyn Kuclo of St. Clair Shores, who said she and her husband, Steve, were the first to marry among the seven couples, in 1978.
“We prioritize. To be a friend, to have friends, you have to be a good friend. And if you’re not that good friend, if you’re not willing to sacrifice or not willing to give of yourself, you have nothing in life,” she said.
The couples get together, whether it’s for bowling or at a restaurant or bar or one of the couple’s homes or cottages. To eat, to drink, to talk, to laugh, to hug and — if necessary — to cry.
“It really does mean a lot,” said Cheryl Fudge of Chesterfield Township of the group’s bond. “You know these people are there for you.”
Barb DeGrandchamp of Perrinton, Michigan, tells others about her tight group of friends, which she joined when her husband, Bill, introduced her to everyone in 1979.
“They say, ‘really?’ ” she said. “It was easy to blend in. They’re really wonderful people.”
The couples didn’t find their special bond unique as it might appear to other people. Their bond just
They said there’s no BS; they agree to disagree, and they all get along. No one could recall
is.
call
a fight or a falling-out.
The guys get along with the girls; the girls get along with the guys. The girlfriends know everything about each other. Anyone in the group can call anyone else and ask them for anything.
Several believe everyone’s upbringing of respect and responsibility and strong family values contribute to their success.
When the couples get together, even if it’s been after a few months, the banter just flows back and forth. They pick up right where they left off — like no time has passed.
And they just have fun.
“After I’m with them, I never feel as good as I feel when I’m with all these people,” Balone said. “Never once has anyone broken anybody’s trust. It’s very unusual. The older I get, the more I value it.”
So what wisdom and advice do these longtime friends have to impart to others?
Fudge recommended keeping in touch with people and to be there for them, to help them in good times and bad.
“If you truly like or love that person, you have to make time,” Tuladziecki said, adding “you gotta have fun.”
DeGrandchamp recommended planning something specific and putting that commitment on the calendar. Also, “you accept each other’s limitations, and you can’t be hard on people.”
Torrey encouraged people to “be open and honest with each other without being a jerk. Tell them how you feel without being a jerk. Your relationship will be stronger, and you’ll be better for it.”
Ciaravino suggested making the effort to be present and to keep connected — “making the friendship a priority.”
Just like these 14 have.
For at least four decades.
“I love them for who they are,” Balone said. “It’s just a good feeling to have people in your life like that. It’s good for your soul.”
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