East Bay Times

New mother is on her own

- Bear AGGy COLUMNIST Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby. com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

LaA ADDY >> My stepdaught­er is married to a very selfish man. They have a newborn baby, and he refuses to help her with the baby. He claims that because he works, he isn’t obligated.

She cares for the baby 24/7 and does all the housework, cooking, etc. If she asks him to feed the baby in the morning, he says, “I’m hungry, so I have to have my breakfast first,” and he lets the baby cry. He also refuses to change a diaper.

What can she say or do that might encourage him to change his ways? It is unfair to her to work 24/7 like this, and she is exhausted.

— StepgrAndm­A

in Israel

I agree the treatment your daughter is receiving is unfair. That her husband would eat while his infant is crying for food is beyond insensitiv­e; it’s neglectful and cruel.

She should not expect this man to change

LaA yTasb AnLmA >>

his attitude. This is who he is, and he not only won’t change, his selfcenter­edness will become worse with time.

If you can take in your grandchild — and your stepdaught­er — and give her a chance to get some rest, please consider it. And while she is with you, point out that this will be her future as long as she remains with her husband.

LaA ADDY >> I have the most wonderful, caring, loving husband any wife could dream of, and together we have a very sweet dog who adores us both but my husband a bit too much, if I may put it that way. When my husband is relaxing on the couch, “Peanut” likes to, umm, “love on” his leg.

I know this is something dogs do, and I have read that it’s a way to establish the alpha, but my husband doesn’t dissuade her from this “loving” behavior. I find it disturbing, not so much because Peanut does it, but because my husband doesn’t mind or even likes it. Is this normal?

— Other Alpha in Massachuse­tts

LaA OTea AlseA >> According to the ASPCA website, what Peanut is doing is normal behavior for animals of both sexes, including those that have been spayed or neutered. Your husband’s acceptance of it, in my opinion, is less so.

LaA aALa y >> Good advice for everyone — teens to seniors — is in “The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It.” To order, send your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $8 to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054- 0447. (Shipping and handling are included in the price.)

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