Expensive gift never got a thank-you in return

DEAR AMY » I attended a large celebration event at a public venue. All of the (many) gifts were placed on a table.

My gift was expensive, and personal, and ever since placing it on the table, I've been worried that it did not make it into the hands of the recipient.

It has been over a month and I have not heard anything.

Should I call? I don't want to seem like I am trolling for a thank-you card.

— Worried

DEAR WORRIED » Yes, call, text or email. You can start by saying how much fun you had at the event, and thanking the person for inviting you.

Then, be honest! Say, “I've been freaking out a little bit that my gift might have gotten lost in the pile. Can you do me a favor and let me know whether you received it?”

DEAR AMY » “Frustrated with the in-laws” wrote about his wife taking calls from her siblings every evening.

Here is a mental health saver I started during a time of strife for my family and which applies to “draining” calls/texts from family/friends.

We call it the “8:00 Rule,” and after 8 p.m. each day, we stop talking or thinking about anything negative, troubling or beyond our control.

If we can't resolve it “tonight,” it's out of our thoughts so we can rest and refresh for the next day.

This also applies to taking calls or texts from others who will not contribute to our moment of respite.

I tell others about this so they know I am not ignoring them, but am allowing myself time to recharge so that I can be the supportive friend or family member they need.

It works wonders, and I hope your other readers may find some value in this practice. — Recharged

DEAR RECHARGED » I appreciate the way you frame this choice, and recommend it for others.