Drawing line on attending business conference
QMy company's annual sales conference is in Texas this year. My primary reason for not wanting to go are the state's gun laws, which I see as essentially nonexistent. It's a political issue for me and a safety concern. I have asked my manager for details about security at the venue and for transportation. She is a leader who has attended these conferences in the past, but she claims not to know anything and will not direct me to anyone who does. What risks am I taking if I don't attend? I am at the end of my career and, frankly, won't miss the educational aspects of this conference, but I do regret missing the social aspects. — Anonymous, New Jersey
ATexas has lax gun laws with no permits required for people to carry handguns, but people aren't generally walking around having gunfights. The unfortunate reality is that nowhere is particularly safe these days. It's a disgrace that this is the status quo. Most conferences have detailed security plans, so visit the conference website to find its policies or reach out to the organizers.
That said, choosing not to go to a state where you are not comfortable with the gun laws is a legitimate choice. If you don't care about missing the educational component, you're risking only the loss of networking and other socializing opportunities.
Your manager may consider it a strike against you, but if you're at the end of your career, do you really care?
People and organizations boycott states with laws they deem unacceptable all the time. When North Carolina passed a bill that, among other things, required transgender people to use public bathrooms that aligned with their sex at birth, the NCAA boycotted and moved tournaments elsewhere. Ringo Starr canceled a concert he was going to perform in the state. Companies reconsidered building offices. Movie producers moved filming locations.
There was an economic impact so significant that the legislation was repealed. Economic consequences can and do work as a tool for activism, but it requires a critical mass of participants. You, as an individual, forgoing this conference won't immediately move the needle. But you will have taken a moral stand that is meaningful to you and that does matter. Sometimes, a lot of individual actions will, in time, coalesce into an unstoppable movement.
Guided mandatory fun Q
I work at a small nonprofit. The new chief executive is gung-ho on hosting as many social functions as possible. She arranged one in the spring and provided guidelines beforehand via email such as “get to know five people you don't normally work with; walk around with people from other teams; spend quality time with a teammate; take pictures for our monthly newsletter.” It made me (and others) dread attending — it was weird and so forced.
There are two more upcoming events and, as an introvert, I do not want to attend. Forced social gatherings make me uncomfortable and anxious. I like my job, but I hate feeling pressured to attend these events! How do I politely bow out?
A— Anonymous
Having guidelines for how to socialize during mandatory fun is a new twist. It sounds as if the new CEO has read a few books or articles about how to promote team bonding without considering what the team actually wants or would find useful. Generally, adults know how to socialize with work colleagues. They don't need prompts. That said, this is manageable. Your job is just your job and though there is often an expectation that employees participate in mandatory fun, you are entitled to manage your free time as you see fit. Bow out of the mandatory fun that you don't want to participate in by politely saying you cannot attend. Don't offer a reason unless you're asked. If you have to provide a reason, offer any of the numerous reasons: we are busy after work. Wish those who will be attending well and keep it moving.