Older manager finds herself in an unfair position

QI used to work at an office where I became friends with a manager. She is a wonderful person and a wonderful manager. She's worked there for 25 years (and is three years from retiring), but in the past 10 years or so, the business model has changed and the small cluster of people at the top have put increasing pressure on her — more duties, more responsibilities, more everything.

She has only recently begun to accept that they are taking advantage of her. To be fair, she has trouble saying no and usually does not stand up for herself. She wants to be seen as a team player and hard worker. What advice do you have for her before this job takes its toll on her health?

A

— Anonymous

Your former coworker sounds like a good person who is, indeed, being taken advantage of. It's always disappointing to witness such flagrant examples of companies exploiting their employees. Generally, though, they will take whatever an employee is willing to give. It would behoove your friend to develop stronger professional boundaries. She doesn't have to be everything to everyone, all the time. She can do her job well without sacrificing her well-being, but she has to be willing to recognize that and adjust accordingly. If she is only three years away from retiring, the reality is that she probably doesn't want to disrupt her life too much. It is absolutely unfair, but the job market is not terribly generous to older people.

Encourage her to stand up for herself in the ways she realistically can. Encourage her to say no. And listen to her when she needs a friend.

Roxane Gay is the author, most recently, of “Hunger” and a contributing opinion writer. Send questions about the office, money, careers and work-life balance to workfriend@nytimes.com. Include your name and location, or a request to remain anonymous.