House­mate dis­ap­proves of cousin’s dat­ing life

The Saline Courier - - OPINION -

DEAR HARRIETTE: I live in a du­plex build­ing with my cousin. I have a pretty sim­ple life, but my cousin is an­other mat­ter en­tirely. He is an at­trac­tive young man in his early 20s, and he con­stantly has women com­ing in and out of the house. I know be­cause I of­ten run into them. I get that he doesn’t have to have a steady girl­friend, but this is ridicu­lous. I know it’s only a mat­ter of time be­fore one of them runs into an­other. Plus, I worry about my cousin’s health. You can’t be that pro­mis­cu­ous with­out the chance of con­tract­ing some type of STI.

What can I say to my cousin to get him to think dif­fer­ently about his choices? For me, if he keeps this up, I want to move. I don’t want to be in the mid­dle of what will surely soon be a mess. I moved here hop­ing to have peace and a bit of pro­tec­tion by hav­ing my male cousin in the same house. -- Pro­mis­cu­ous House­mate

DEAR PRO­MIS­CU­OUS HOUSE­MATE: You are smart to know that you have no power in get­ting your cousin to curb his promis­cu­ity. This is his life and how he chooses to live it. You are also smart to con­sider that things could get ugly if one woman dis­cov­ers an­other when they are com­ing and go­ing from your build­ing. Your best bet is to tell your cousin how you feel: You are dis­ap­pointed in what you con­sider to be his reck­less be­hav­ior, and you be­lieve it is un­safe and un­sa­vory for you to stay in this en­vi­ron­ment. Tell him that you in­tend to move if he con­tin­ues.

Start look­ing for a new place right away. You have no rea­son to be­lieve that his be­hav­ior will change. Just know that when you move to an­other lo­ca­tion, you will have to deal with what­ever your new neigh­bors’ pro­cliv­i­ties are. So weigh the odds be­fore you take your next step.

•••

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a re­cent col­lege grad­u­ate, and I have been look­ing for a job for about nine months. So far, even with my de­gree, I have found noth­ing in my field. I am sad about this; I put my all into col­lege, be­liev­ing that it would set me up for suc­cess. Now I’m broke. Stu­dent loan debt is loom­ing over me, and I don’t know what to do. I need a job. Should I look out­side my field? I don’t want to start out as a fail­ure. -- Need a Job

DEAR NEED A JOB: You are not alone. It can take time to find the right fit for a job, es­pe­cially when you have built a ca­reer plan that doesn’t seem to be un­fold­ing as you would like. Do not dis­may. Your job will be­come ap­par­ent to you, but it may take longer than you would like.

For now, it’s time to be prac­ti­cal. Look be­yond your nar­row search, and con­sider what other skills you have and how you can earn a liv­ing. Look broadly -- from cus­tomer ser­vice, to tech, to tele­mar­ket­ing. Ba­si­cally, right now you want to find some­thing that will give you in­come while you are on your search. It could be best to look for a part-time job at night so that you have time dur­ing the day to search for a ca­reer po­si­tion. In­stead of giv­ing up, get more cre­ative. And don’t think any job is be­neath you -- it is not. •••

Harriette Cole is a lifestylis­t and founder of DREAMLEAPE­RS, an ini­tia­tive to help peo­ple ac­cess and ac­ti­vate their dreams. You can send ques­tions to askhar­ri­[email protected]­ri­et­tecole.com or c/o An­drews Mcmeel Syn­di­ca­tion, 1130 Wal­nut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.

HARRIETTE COLE

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