Where are the fathers?
Today is Father’s Day and for far too many the fathers are missing. They simply are not there.
I was fortunate to have a father who was the leader in our family. He was not only the primary breadwinner, but was the spiritual leader and voice of reason and authority. He was also a teacher of life lessons — he led by example. He was a remarkable man by any standard.
He grew up on a dirt farm in North Mississippi during the Great Depression. When he was 12 years old, his father died, leaving behind a wife and five children. Life was tough.
When World War II rolled around, he was 19 years old and in the Army going in behind the troops that spearheaded the Normandy Invasion. He was critically wounded near St. Lo France when a mortar shell landed next to him ripping his back, legs and abdomen with nearly 100 pieces of shrapnel. One fragment took a piece of his skull about the size of a silver dollar.
He lie wounded on the battlefield for nearly a day before they found him and got him to a place where he could receive basic medical care. He was sent home and through a series of operations was able to make a recovery and begin to live life, though that life would be marked with severe headaches and abdominal problems.
He was given a 100 percent disability when he was discharged from the service, but from his vantage point he was anything but disabled.
He got married, went to a business college and helped raise a family with four children. He established his own accounting practice and sat for a Treasury Card, making it possible to represent clients before the IRS or other legal bodies. His practice flourished and he became well known in the community, serving on the Harrison County Economic Development Commission and traveled around the world.
He died just short of his 81st birthday. Having survived critical wounds, his body just gave out.
I carry his money clip with me every day to remind me of all the life lessons he taught me, and how he helped mold me into the person I am today. I just wish I could be the man he was.
Sadly, that experience is missing in the lives of many youngsters today as more and more households are missing a husband and a father. In 1980, 18.4 percent of all live births in the U.S. were to single women. By 2008 that number had grown to 40.6 percent. That’s a huge problem for society. In far too many cases there is no father to share in the leadership and teaching of their children and we are all suffering from that fact.
The continued breakup and dissolution of core families does not bode well for our country going forward. I mean no disrespect to single mothers trying to raise their children. Most will do everything they can for their children. However, the absence of a father may hinder some children from being all they can be, not having the benefit of the perspective and life lessons that a good male role model can provide. The emphasis here is on the word “good.”
If you had a father and particularly one who was a good role model — count your lucky stars. If we keep going the way we are going, you will truly be in the minority.
On second thought, it’s not too late for our country to experience a fundamental shift in its understanding and acceptance of what is best for its survival. History plainly shows us the importance of the family unit and what happens when it starts to break down. Happy Father’s Day! Ronnie Bell is general manager of the El Dorado News-Times and can be reached at rbell@wehco.com.