Young man debates merits of keeping his virginity
DEAR ABBY: I’m a 28-yearold male who is still a virgin. I always wanted to be intimate with a virgin female for my first time, but I have never met one. I’ve had opportunities for sex but refrained because she wasn’t a virgin. The older I have gotten, the harder it has become to achieve my dream of being someone’s first and sharing this wonderful experience together. I doubt there are any virgin females my age left.
I know I have missed out on an important aspect of life that so many others have had. Should I start dating younger women, or let go of my fairy-tale first-time fantasy and have sex with just
anybody, knowing I’ll regret it? Or should I hold out longer and wait for another virgin
to come into my life? — FAIRY-TALE DREAM
DEAR FAIRY-TALE
DREAM: Consider pushing the pause button on your fantasy until the pandemic is under control, and do nothing that you know you’ll regret. Before going forward, figure out why sex with another virgin is so important to you. Once you have the answer to that, consider what you have to offer a girl like the one you fantasize about. Many virgins are saving themselves for marriage. If you are willing to wait until marriage to fulfill your fantasy, you may find what you’re looking for. (Or not.)
DEAR ABBY: I was cheated on by my ex-husband. Since our divorce, I am interested only in married men. I have
been to therapy, but I can’t seem to shake it. I hit on married men because I don’t believe all men are faithful. Is this unhealthy, and what can I do about it? — NOT RIGHT IN THE NORTH
DEAR NOT RIGHT: What you’re doing is definitely unhealthy! You didn’t mention how long ago your divorce happened, but hitting on married men may be your way of ensuring that you won’t become so deeply involved your heart is broken again. Perhaps you will be less inclined to continue these liaisons if, before starting another one, you take a moment to consider their effect on the wives and children involved.
P.S. And since your first therapist was unable to help you,
contact another one.
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