How to choose a chair

One morning, I looked around the living room and said, ”Time to clear the clutter. First and foremost that lounge chair must go. Get a new chair.”

We both left for town. I went to a meeting. He went shopping for a chair.

Two hours later, hubby called, “I lost my wallet and my car keys.”

“What? Did you look between the seats and on the ground?”

“Yes, I went back to the stores and asked. No one had turned in a wallet.”

“I think you need to take everything out of the car.”

“I already did all that.”

He used an emergency key to drive home. At home he called the bank to see if any of the cards in his wallet had been used. None had been used.

No wallet, no keys, but his morning shopping had included a stop at the furniture store to test the lounge chairs. He had found one he liked. He wanted to finish the task that day.

“So what color should I get? I have tested two or three chairs, but I need to know what you want.” he asked.

“You are the one who will use it. You said you wanted fabric and not leather. I say get a color that coordinates with the rest of the furniture.:

I really did not care, I just wanted his tattered and torn chair gone. I didn’t care if years of use had molded it to his body. I didn’t care if he liked it. The time had come, the chair had to go.

He loaded his tattered, old lounge chair in the mini-van. “What are you going to do with it?” I asked.

“I am going to check with the re-upholstery shop and see if they can redo it for less than a new chair.”

I rolled my eyes. “All right. Will you get a cloth covering?”

“Yes.”

“Okay, but the color needs to be maroon or blue like we already have. I really am not fond of brown.”

He left for town and called again. “It’s not going to be reupholstered. That cost more. The furniture store has gray, light gray and dark gray. They also have dark brown and tan in stock.” “Which do you like to sit in?”

“I like all of them. Right now they are looking in the warehouse to see which colors they have in stock.”

“Which chair do you like?”

“I really like the gray chair.” he said “Okay, so get the gray,” I conceded before hanging up. At least it wasn’t brown..

I guess he went to test the chair one more time because he called back. ”I found my keys. They were in the chair. They fell out of my left pocket. Then as I sat there! I reached back on the other side and found my wallet. Wallet on the right. Keys on the left.”

“Well apparently your possessions decided which chair they liked best. You have never lost your keys or wallet in the lounge chair before. You better buy that chair.”

He bought a chair like the one that had grabbed his wallet and keys. An hour or so later he came home with a big box holding his new lounge chair.

Together we wrestled it out of the van and into the house. Together we wrestled the removable back into place. Once we had it lined up to slide down we stepped back. He went into the shop, grabbed a mallet and whacked that thing into place, Then he collapsed into his new lounge chair, kicked back and started breaking it in.

It shouldn’t take long. After all this is the chair bonded with his wallet and keys. I am sure they will pull him to the chair often.