Four years later, it’s better but still a struggle
I got a phone call yesterday, November 8th of all days, from a law clerk in my PG&E lawyer’s office. They had received my determination letter. We scheduled an appointment for today to go over my options with a lawyer for this afternoon.
It has now been delayed because they are “reviewing” it. For what I have no idea.
I have been a Certified Financial Planner for over 30 years. I wrote a column for the Paradise Post on financial planning topics for about 10 years. After the fire, I had nothing to say. I tried. I sat there in front of my computer and just nothing.
I had never been through such an event. There was little guidance from my professional world on how to navigate your way through what was unfolding.
I felt I had nothing to offer. I shuttered my business and cowardly slinked away to Siskiyou County. I have so many regrets.
My brain stopped working the way it had in the past. I would read something and couldn’t remember any of the fine details.
I’d read it again with the same result. I was mentally numb. I had always made my living with my brain and it stopped working like it used to. My path forward had never been more cloudy.
After four years I am better but still struggle. I look back on some of the “Facebook memories” of my posts about various things and wonder who that articulate person was that could slam out a few hundred words without a second thought.
Now my posts are like, “I now live at 3500 feet. Here’s the snow!”. Ugh.
Now my “number” has arrived. Why just because I owned a home is it more than a renter? Why is it more than a retiree who lived in a mobile park?
Why did my own
Mom, who lived in Paradise since the day after she graduated from high school and lived in a simple rental that didn’t burn feel like she wasn’t entitled to anything so she didn’t file a claim? Is it too late for her?
Do I have the mental bandwidth to research that for her? The secrecy around all of this reeks of the same vibe as an employer forbidding employees from sharing salary data. I hate all of it. I await the next phone call from the law clerk. I have no way to prepare.
I’m going to review the weather forecast. It might snow again.