6. BE POSITIVE WHEN SPEAKING YOURSELF

trainers head off negative attitudes within the group by dissuading gossip and helping all members of the barn to encourage each other.

Mirror neurons in the brain are responsible for the benefits of goal observation. They become active when we carry out a motor skill and when we watch others perform that skill. In other words, when you hop a cross pole, certain neurons fire to allow your muscles to execute that action. No surprise there. But when you watch a friend hop that cross pole, the same mirror neurons fire inside your brain. They don’t distinguish between your action and your friend’s. With adequate balance, strength and muscle coordination, this means we can train motor neurons by watching as well as doing.

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Inner speech has a strong effect on mental motivation. When you talk to yourself, the neurons representing those words fire just as they do when someone else says them to you. And every time they fire, they reinforce a physical connection that allows the concept to come easier the next time. So when you make a rookie mistake in the arena and mutter “loser” to yourself, you’re damaging your own self-efficacy. Instead, use inner speech to give your brain a leg up: Reinforce the ideas of confidence, competence and mastery … not fatigue, doubt or blame.

Even the order of words in inner speech affects motivation. Silent words in the form of brief questions or challenges are more inspiring than silent words in the form of sentences. Motivation is improved by asking yourself “Will I sit tall?” instead of stating “I will sit tall” while riding through problems on a horse. Curl up into the fetal position, add some negative inner statements, and you’re more likely to hit the dirt.

Suppose your cutting horse spins out from under you one bright happy morning, and suddenly you’re sitting in a cowpie. What do you say to yourself? “Oh, no, everyone can see what a bad rider I am”? That kind of talk destroys self-efficacy. How about, “That darn horse bucked me off”? No, you fell.

Instead, just get back on the horse and talk to yourself like a motivating trainer would: “OK, can you ride more on your seat bones, pull your center of gravity way down, and relax your hip joints so they rotate when the horse turns?” This kind of language implies self-responsibility, internal attribution and personal control over the next outcome. It’s specific, positive and goal-driven.

To beef up belief in your own competence, avoid self-deprecation as a form of humor. We all joke around now and then about our imperfections, sometimes to make friends or soften the effect of our skills on tender egos. And there’s nothing wrong with laughter around the ranch. But if you disparage yourself often, please reconsider. Those words chew at your self-efficacy one small bite at a time. Instead, share your success cheerfully with people who appreciate it, and delight in theirs as often as you can.