How to to your horse

Horses are asking us questions all the time, says the author of the new book, and with practice you can learn to answer appropriately—and start a meaningful conversation.

Ahorse’s survival depends on his ability to observe what is happening around him and to see the subtle messages of other horses. This is possible only when the “herd” (same species or multispecies, of many or of only two, in the barn or loose in the pasture) is calm. When one horse starts to pick on another, the others in the herd may quietly separate the two, adjusting their positions until there is a state of calm again. In conflict, opponents are likely to kick or bite at one another; perhaps one will drive the other away. Then, as quickly as the disagreement began, it ends. Horses do not thrive on stress and excitement.

I regularly observe my herd and usually see some standing a few feet apart, some lying down and others grazing--but all striving for a steady state of calm.

Many of us may try to be calm around horses as a general rule, but for the process of learning Horse Speak, it is essential. Being “quiet inside” allowed me to be more “present” (in the moment), which is how I was able to observe the subtleties of equine language to begin with. Establishing ways to be “present” with your horse is how you will see their language, as well. I call the state of being present in the moment, being aware and calm, Inner Zero.

Zero is the first thing I teach any of my students. I ask them to imagine a favorite peaceful spot---a happy place. Some think of a favorite song, a lovely image or an emotionally fulfilling memory. We all have individual gateways to our Zero. Practice the feeling that comes over you when you think of the trigger image, sound or memory and return to it repeatedly. This is Zero on the inside. Sometimes I have my students stand in the vicinity of their horses, balance their weight on both feet and breathe into their bellies. Then we all notice if and how the horses respond.

It took me years to realize how important my own state of Zero was for successful conversations. I’ve developed another tool to help me stay calm and present no matter what the horse is doing. I can stay in my Inner Zero by thinking or saying out loud the words, “How curious.” When you say, “How curious,” it neutralizes emotions. Or you may want to try the word, “Interesting,” which is also a nonjudgmental expression. No matter if things are going well or badly with your horse, find your own trigger words or phrases that will help you stay calm and present.