I IMAGINED THAT THIS PROCEDURE WOULD HAVE MARKED THE END OF A PAINFUL, TUMULTUOUS YEARS-LONG PERIOD IN WHICH EVERYTHING FELT IN FLUX, INCLUDING MY BODY ITSELF. I WOULD BE DONE WITH THE PROCESS OF TRANSITIONING, GIVE OR TAKE A FEW LEGAL DOCUMENTS THAT I STILL WANTED TO CHANGE, AND WOULD AT LAST BE ABLE TO LIVE MY LIFE. IT WAS A FANTASY BUT ONE THAT I CLUNG TO HARDER THE CLOSER IT GOT TO BECOMING REAL. 91 SUMMER 2020