Eliminate “I must”

“Challenge the unreasonable belief, I must be available 24/7 for my friend,” advises Burn. “Say to yourself, Really? Is that what it means to be a good friend? Aren’t there other ways?” The extreme thought driving your behavior locks you into a sense of impossible obligation, but questioning it creates space to explore other ways of helping, like sending a card reminding her she’s loved. Says Burn, “It’s not selfish to have appropriate boundaries.”