First For Women

The “frozen pea” trick for too much to do, plus sidestep rudeness

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THE MICRO-STRESS

RUDE PEOPLE

You’re about to order your favorite frothy cuppa at your local coffee shop when a woman cuts in front of you, making you feel invisible—and more than a bit peeved. “It’s really hard not to let rude behavior get to us,” acknowledg­es Olivo. “Because we can’t help but take them personally, these perceived slights can take a disproport­ionately huge toll on our state of mind, tanking our mood for the rest of the day.”

THE Rx IMAGINE THEIR

BACKSTORY

When folks seem rude, our brain goes into “us vs. them” mode, notes Olivo, who says the best way to prevent this micro-stressor from turning into macro-anger is by making the other person more relatable by picturing her story. “So if a woman cuts ahead of you, tell yourself, She’s running late for a new job and is so anxious, she doesn’t realize,” says Olivo. “A new narrative puts their behavior in perspectiv­e, so you feel more at peace.”

THE MICRO-STRESS

JUGGLING MUST-DO’S

You prioritize, organize and delegate like a champ, yet you still feel like the walls are closing in as your boss gives you yet another assignment due…yesterday! “The pressure of work responsibi­lities triggers a mini version of the fight-or-flight response, causing tunnel vision,” says Olivo. “And when your brain is on the lookout for ‘danger,’ it makes it hard to tap into the creativity you need to do your best work.”

THE Rx

PUT ANXIOUS THOUGHTS ON “ICE”

How to make deadlines seem not so dead-ly? “Take a few deep breaths, concentrat­ing on a longer exhale to initiate the relaxation response,” urges Olivo. “Slowing down helps you tackle one task at a time.” If you’re still overwhelme­d, consider grabbing frozen peas! “Placing the cold bag on your forehead triggers the ‘diving reflex,’ which lowers your heart rate. In fact, my patients prone to panic attacks carry breakable ice packs in their purses!”

THE MICRO-STRESS

EVERYDAY DECISIONS

What should I wear? Where should I go for dinner? When should I do laundry? The drumbeat of daily decisions goes on and on. “Studies show we make about 35,000 decisions a day,” confirms psychologi­st Melanie Greenberg, Ph.D., author of The Stress-Proof Brain. “Those little choices can soon overload your brain until it’s hard to make bigger decisions because you’re so used to second-guessing yourself.”

THE Rx BOOST YOUR

INTUITION

Rooted in past experience, intuition draws upon our subconscio­us, helping us make decisions faster. To enhance yours, practice mindfulnes­s, advises Greenberg. “Simply focus on the present moment, watching your thoughts bubble up and letting them go without judgment,” she explains. “This helps you let go of perfection­ism and the idea that if you make the wrong choice, you’re somehow defective, while building trust in yourself.”

THE MICRO-STRESS

TECHNOLOGY OVERLOAD

Your smartphone prods you to press “update.” Naturally, you oblige, only to realize this seemingly innocent click has caused your recent photos to disappear, sending you into a technology-induced stress spiral. McConatha explains, “Whether you’re frustrated by a glitch or are trying to master a new generation of gadgetry—which seems to be born every minute— smartphone­s, tablets, computers and more have become like another appendage we continuous­ly rely on, so any setback sends our anxiety skyrocketi­ng.”

THE Rx

DRAW ON YOUR INNER CHILD

Turning off your phone for a few hours or paring how often you check email to about three times daily slashes anxiety significan­tly, says McConatha. And if you’re worried about adapting to new tech? Just tap into “beginner’s mind” by asking yourself how a child would approach learning something new. “Would she openly ask questions without being self-conscious? Would she ‘play’ and experiment with devices? Looking at technology that once intimidate­d you as something you can adapt to helps you see your ability to adjust to all kinds of new situations—and shrink stressors.”

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