Barking up a storm

“My adorable pup, Rosie, barks when the wind blows, I swear! It drives me crazy, so I’m constantly on top of her when she starts up…because once she gets going, she won’t stop.

“One particular day, I had a headache. So as soon as she raced toward the door to start a barking session, I ran in front of her, blocked the door and scolded her at the top of my lungs. ‘Get away from the door! I’ve had it with you! Do you hear me? I mean it! Don’t even think about it! GO!’ I said in my firmest ‘alpha’ voice.

“Rosie whined and sat down, thankfully keeping her muzzle shut. I smiled at my victory— that is until I heard a voice on the other side of the door say nervously, ‘Okay, ma’am, I’m sorry, I won’t ring the doorbell. I’ll just leave the package here.’

“My face suddenly burned with embarrassment as I realized the UPS deliveryman was on my front porch. I immediately opened the door and explained that I was just talking to my dog—who’d conveniently disappeared. He looked at me like I could blow at any second, gingerly put the package down and backed away without a word.

“Now all my packages get delivered to the edge of the porch, and no one ever rings the bell. Maybe I should hang a sign on my door that says,