IF YOU LEAD WITH ‘I’M SORRY’

OPEN WITH OPTIMISM

When replying to emails, you often start with a preemptive apology: Sorry for the delay…Sorry I forgot the attachment. This defense mechanism tends to be triggered by a fear of criticism or a perceived threat, says Susan Heitler, Ph.D., author of Prescriptions Without Pills. In fact, it’s been linked to an overactive amygdala, responsible for the brain’s fight-or-flight response.

Instead of leading with negativity, which only increases anxiety, start with confidence-boosting language. For example, if you’re emailing someone or sending a text, you might open with a feel-good phrase like,

“It was so great to get your message” or, “Thank you for thinking of me.” Simply starting with affirmative language helps you affirm yourself, curbing stress and helping broaden the tunnel vision caused by fear. In other words, when you’re not as focused on yourself or your perceived faults, you instantly become less apologetic and are able to communicate more positively, honestly and openly.