DEFINE YOUR GUIDING LIGHTS

You’ve waited nearly an hour for your sister to make your brunch date. When she finally arrives, you squelch your simmering frustration, but this is far from the first time she’s been late, and you feel taken advantage of.

Each time you reassure her, it’s as if you’re lying not only to her but to yourself. An important version of authenticity is realness, being forthright when there is outside pressure not to be, explains Hopwood. “We may avoid revealing our true selves if it might hurt others’ feelings,” he says. “But ‘being real’ is associated with stronger relationships, as most people prefer friends who are honest with them to those who simply tell them what they want to hear.”

To tap this aspect of authenticity, simply take a moment to pinpoint three of your core values. “For example, if honesty, creativity and compassion are your ‘guiding lights,’ ask yourself how they manifest in various areas of your life: at home, at work and in your relationships,” advises Kentgen. “Intentionally focusing on concrete ways to prioritize your values will help you show up for yourself every day.”

Just make sure at least one of your “guiding lights” shines toward yourself, she suggests, revealing that one of her core values is loyalty, the true meaning of which she discovered years ago when a fraught relationship ended. “I realized staying in the relationship meant being disloyal to myself—in this case, authenticity led me to make a tough decision with a heavy heart.”

Through this experience, Kentgen says she learned to include herself in her circle of loyalty. The uplifting bottom line? Simply homing in on the ideals that anchor you to your best self boosts your resilience, even in the face of some of life’s biggest challenges.