House­wife: Home Re-mak­ing in a Trans­gen­der Mar­riage

It is the story of a woman faced with an unimag­in­able ob­sta­cle, and how she found the strength to climb over it.

Foreword Reviews - - Reviews Adult Nonfiction - CHRIS­TINE CANFIELD

Kristin M. Col­lier Ab­bon­danza Pub­lish­ing Soft­cover $16 (277pp) 978-0-9977901-0-8

When Kristin Col­lier’s hus­band came out to her as trans­gen­der, Kristin did what most peo­ple do when faced with the un­known: she went to the In­ter­net. While in­for­ma­tion re­gard­ing gen­der dys­pho­ria and tran­si­tion is more widely avail­able than in the past, she had a hard time find­ing any­thing that was writ­ten from the spouse’s per­spec­tive. Through this mem­oir, Col­lier of­fers a can­did and heart­felt view of her life af­ter her hus­band be­came her wife.

Kristin Col­lier had been mar­ried to Fred, now Seda, for ten years be­fore Seda tran­si­tioned from liv­ing as a male to liv­ing as a fe­male. While hind­sight of­fered glimpses of this side of Seda, the news largely took Kristin by sur­prise. The cou­ple and their two sons be­gan a roller-coaster ride that shot them through largely un­charted ter­ri­tory.

There is an open­ness and vul­ner­a­bil­ity to Col­lier’s writ­ing that feels like sit­ting down to cof­fee with a best friend. She writes with vivid and en­gag­ing im­agery: “Fred scraped at the mem­ory, the trauma, in his mind like it was a fresh leather hide to be tanned and stretched taut to dry in the bright sun­light.”

Seda’s story, and that of other fam­ily and friends, is an in­te­gral part of this mem­oir, but the fo­cus is squarely on Kristin. This is her story, as a wife, a mother, friend, con­fi­dant, and lover and, most of all, as an in­di­vid­ual. It’s an un­fet­tered look at how Seda’s tran­si­tion af­fected Kristin’s life and fu­ture plans, and how the idea of fam­ily trans­formed in her mind to mean so much more than she ever thought it could.

This book was writ­ten not only to give a spouse’s view of tran­si­tion, but also as a re­source for any­one who wants to learn more about trans­gen­der is­sues or gain bet­ter un­der­stand­ing, in or­der to be­come sup­port­ive of trans­fam­i­lies. It is also the story of a woman faced with an unimag­in­able ob­sta­cle, and how she found the strength to climb over it to find a place of con­tent­ment, ac­cep­tance, and peace on the other side.

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