LIAM KALI & YEMI COMBAHEE ON QUEER AND TRANS CONCEPTION

On November 16, Charis Books and More will be virtually hosting a conversation between Seattle-based licensed midwife and owner of MAIA Midwifery and Fertility Services Liam Kali and Atlanta-based fullspectrum doula and reproductive justice organizer Yemi Combahee on Kali’s book “Queer Conception: The Complete Fertility Guide for Queer and Trans Parents-To-Be.”

Ahead of their conversation, Kali and Combahee spoke with Georgia Voice about the book, what the audience can expect from their conversation, and trans inclusion and body positivity in the world of conception.

Quotes have been edited for clarity. Read the full interview online at thegavoice.com.

Talk to me about “Queer Conception.” LK: The book is a midwife in paperback. It is designed so that anyone who is considering pregnancy as a queer or trans person who, specifically, may need assisted conception, but it also speaks to those of us who sometimes don’t need assisted conception to conceive, from laying out a timeline, making initial decision making, to donor selection, lab work, preconception health, insemination methods and timing, coping with cycles of trying to conceive. There’s a chapter on IVF, one on surrogacy, and the last chapter of the book, I did want to include some information on early pregnancy.

YC: I connected with Liam when they were still writing the book and was able to do an early inclusivity read of the book. That was a really great process of reading through to make sure it touched on different people’s circumstances, that it was inclusive of Black and Brown folks [and] folks living in the South, especially in a state like Georgia where resources are not as plentiful as in a place like Seattle.

To shift to your upcoming conversation, what topics are y’all going to cover? YC: I definitely envision us talking a lot about what community-based birth work looks like in the queer community — communities, plural — and how that is universal in some ways in the work both of us do, but also how they differ and how we have to adjust for the different communities we serve. I’m hoping the folks that attend can see themselves in the experiences that we’re going to talk about.

You mentioned this concept of inclusivity. The book is lauded as the first fertility guide to be trans-inclusive. Can you talk about how trans people are included in this guide and what trans-specific barriers, issues, or topics regarding fertility are addressed? LK: Number one, it’s written with inclusive language. The whole book is written in a way that is inclusive and affirming of gender, regardless of what a person’s gender is. That in itself is pretty revolutionary. Trans people aren’t going to have to wade through an endless sea of misgendering in order to get the information that’s needed. I do include information about how hormonal transition can impact your fertility and what can be expected if you’re trying to regain your fertile function after hormonal transition. Additionally, I included in the lactation induction section lactation for every [kind of] body.

YC: Liam, you do such a great job at being gender inclusive not just for the sake of gender inclusivity but also honoring the lived experiences of queer folks at large. Even when you talk about nutrition and how to feed your body to prepare for a pregnancy, you’re sensitive to the fact that a lot of us live in storied bodies that have been marked by fatphobia and eating disorders. You’re sensitive to the fact that this journey does not have to be at the expense of your mental health and your recovery. It’s not just about if you take hormones or not, it’s about your relationship to your body and your relationship to your community.

Speaking of body positivity, can you discuss the importance of body positivity — or rather the lack of body positivity in traditional medical spaces? LK: Body mass index is a thing that is very easy to measure, so it gets included in a lot of studies related to health because it’s so easy to track, and therefore makes such an easy scapegoat. What that leaves out is the wholeness of who a person is. To simply tell somebody, “Oh, if you lose ten percent of your body weight, your chances for pregnancy go up” – yep, that’s a study that was produced, I probably even name that in that book. I’m not trying to say none of that matters; yeah, there’s a study that says that, and you’re a whole person.

YC: That in and of itself is revolutionary in a conception book, and it’s also why I think folks who might not identify as queer can also benefit from this viewpoint. If more pregnant people, queer or not, saw themselves and were able to see themselves through their pregnancies as whole people deserving of physical, mental, and communal health, and we as a society supported that, imagine what our reproductive system could look like.

What advice would you give to people who are hesitant to embrace parenthood because of all the systemic barriers that may be in their way? LK: You are beautiful, you are valid. The more you step into yourself and everything that you are, the more that you have to give to your child. Your decision to have a child and become a parent is totally human and something you get to choose, too. Don’t let anybody tell you otherwise. You get to have this. You get to have a good life, regardless of what anyone else says.

YC: You’re not the first, you won’t be the last, and you are part of a legacy of queer families that has existed always. That’s really empowering to know that queer folks have been making babies since people were on this planet. Just because we have these systems that try to box us in, that are effective at traumatizing us and making us feel less than, it’s the systems that are invalid, not us.

Register for Kali and Combahee’s conversation at crowdcast.io/e/queer-conception-the/register.