‘I write what I am feeling’
GARAVI GUJARAT caught up with the rapidly rising writer Nikita Gill to discuss her new book, writing journey, and why the only competition is herself.
When you started this writing journey, did you imagine making such a big impact? Absolutely not. I don’t think any writer, when they start, thinks that they can be successful in anyway. I don’t think any of us go into it thinking, ‘I am going to become a massive success’. We go in thinking, ‘I hope the thing I love is what I get to do for the rest of my life’. I just went in wanting a little space to do what I love. Which of your work is closest to your heart? It’s hard to choose, but a poem I keep coming back to is Everything I Never Asked Him, which I wrote about an ex – a very long time ago – who passed away from suicide. It kind of touches on men we should be taking care of more, and suicide being one of the biggest killer of men over 40. It’s about questions we should be asking, so they can talk more about the pain they feel. I come back to it often because so many men I know, who are going through depression or anxiety, feel like they can’t talk about it. I don’t know if it’s a favourite because it’s about something sad, but I feel like that is the one. You’ve been unpredictable. Has that been a conscious decision?
I write what I am feeling and most passionate about at the time. As a writer, when you see something interesting, it leads you down a rabbit hole, and you find yourself wanting to write about it. That’s how it works for me. There are lots of stuff I never end up sharing. I think most of my work doesn’t make it online or into my books. I would say only 10 per cent does. A part of my thinking is, ‘I’m obsessed with this and want to write about it’. The other part is, ‘will it be published?’ Sometimes people say, ‘this isn’t on trend, we can’t publish it’.
Tell us more about that...?
For example, I started writing Fierce Fairytales many years before it was picked up to be published. At that time, it wasn’t trendy to write feminist fairy tales. But then there was a huge movement of people retelling fairy tales and Fierce Fairytales fit into that.
Your new book These Are The Words is a masterpiece. What inspired it?
Thank you, so much. That means so much to me. I think I was writing to my nieces and my younger self. But one of the things I am paying a lot of attention to is how disenfranchised young people are feeling. You can’t blame them. It’s perfectly justified to feel like the world has turned its back on you. They lost two years during the pandemic, when things were not normal. Things were supposed to get better, but it feels like things are progressively getting worse.
A lot of people have used your words to get through difficult times, but what has helped you?
My nani (grandmother) is a wonderful person, who is about 180 times wiser than I could ever hope to be. She is the person who through the simplest advice has lifted me up and told me, ‘The world actually isn’t as bad as your picturing it in your head’. She’s been through a lot, obviously. Everyone from that age group who come from north India suffered be-cause of Partition. When she tells me those sto-ries, it always changes my life. So, I use my grandmother’s advice and wisdom.
Do you know something is good when you write it?
(Laughs) I think the greatest tragedy of be-ing a writer is that you never like your own work, especially something you’ve written months ago. Six months later you’re like, why did I like this? Like what was wrong with me? In a way, it’s a good thing because it shows you’re constantly growing. So, you outgrow your own work, but at the same time we writers tend to be very hard on ourselves. It’s like find-ing a happy medium between celebrating the work you’ve done, which moves people and moves you, and knowing you must outgrow that work to become a better writer.
What does poetry mean to you today?
I think poetry is for everyone. There is a poem in this world for everyone. For me, the most powerful thing about poetry is it can move and fundamentally change people.