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NEW York State Po­lice cap­tured Fritha the Fugi­tive Ele­phant af­ter the 44-year-old pachy­derm broke out of a West­town an­i­mal sanc­tu­ary to fetch a mid­night snack — 6,000 pounds of hay sit­ting in a field on a neigh­bor’s farm! The beast made it safely back to her barn.

TEXAS tor­nado Kim­berly Santleben-Stiteler, 43, got a big bang out of her di­vorce — she blew up her wed­ding dress in an ex­plo­sion felt 15 miles away! Kim was mar­ried for 14 years — and says the ex­pe­ri­ence was “lib­er­at­ing.”

WHERE’S Pop­eye when you re­ally need him? A semitruck haul­ing a load of spinach flipped on In­ter­state 71 near Washington Town­ship, Ohio, spread­ing leafy greens across all north­bound lanes and ty­ing up traf­fic for hours! The cause of the spill is un­der in­ves­ti­ga­tion.

PRO­FES­SIONAL Florida snake hunter Kyle Pen­nis­ton bagged a record-setting 17-foot, 5-inch fe­male Burmese python in the Mi­ami-Dade County swamps.

The crit­ter, which weighed a whop­ping 120 pounds, was eu­th­a­nized un­der the Python Elim­i­na­tion Pro­gram. The gi­ant snakes have in­vaded the Ever­glades and are wip­ing out na­tive species.

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