GOOFBALL GWYN NEEDS REALITY COACH
GLOBE’S NO-NONSENSE OPINION PAGE
WE’VE said Gwyneth Paltrow is a ditz, airhead and pampered brat — and she continues to prove we’re right!
Paltrow’s latest gibberish — having an “intimacy coach” who has banned her new hubby, producer Brad Falchuk, from her bed three days a week — continues to reveal how removed from reality this oblivious twit is.
Raised in a golden bubble by wealthy and connected producer dad Bruce Paltrow and actress mom Blythe Danner, who convinced movie mogul Steven Spielberg to be her godfather, she’s clueless about real life and real people.
Gwyneth is so mired in her silver spoon lifestyle, she doesn’t understand what regular gals need and can afford while pushing overpriced junk and bizarre New Age feel-good culture on her Goop site.
Gwyn and Goop recently settled charges of false claims about her products with California watchdogs.
The dumbo agreed to pay a $145,000 fine and stop touting the benefits for weird things like $66 yoni eggs that she says puts the zip back into tired vaginas.
But regardless of how much she’s caught pushing
phony-baloney products and ideas, the snoot can’t shut her yap about them.
At her latest seminar, she hawked costly, nutso items like Leech Facials — a beauty mask made of blood sucked from your body by leeches — and Brain Dust and Sex Dust to boost thinking and sex.
Now, she’s boasting having an intimacy coach — which no regular housewife can afford — is great for marriages.
What this dope needs is a huge snort of Brain Dust.
As for Brad, we don’t feel sorry he’s barred from snuggling with his blond bimbo three days a week.
By now, he’s probably hoping the intimacy coach will make the weekly sex ban permanent!