Drafting men to empower women
For more than 40 years I have been on staff at YWCA Greenwich, coaching the award-winning Dolphins Swim Team. In that time, I have coached hundreds of young women, while raising my own family, including four daughters and two sons, with my wife, Sue.
The young women I work with daily — along with my own daughters — are strong, resilient, and passionate. They are booksmart, street-smart, and highly competitive. Their potential is unlimited.
Unfortunately, I know that too often these same women are reduced to stereotypes, dismissed as superficial, objectified, and pitted against each other in ways that young boys are not. From educational opportunities to career choices, women are frequently discouraged to excel and limited in the social capital that men use to succeed. As more women enter the workforce their contributions are undervalued and they continue to shoulder the bulk of the responsibility of caring for their families. Typically, the trajectory of their careers stalls and they earn only 79 cents for every dollar a man makes.
From my work at YWCA Greenwich, I know that at some point in their lifetime, one in three women are victims of domestic violence. Although there are many factors that lead to domestic violence, the dominant privilege of men is certainly a factor. The Domestic Abuse Services staff at the YW provide direct service to victims and work tirelessly to educate people about healthy relationships. If men could commit to being true, authentic allies to all women, what a difference that could make.
How can you become an ally?
1 Listen. Really, sincerely listen! Don’t interrupt and give the speaker your full attention and encourage others to do the same by not tolerating dismissive behavior.
1 Remember it’s not about you. Avoid taking center stage, man-splaining, speaking on behalf of women or advising women on how to solve gender equity issues.
1 Get comfortable being uncomfortable. Be prepared to call out destructive, sexist behavior. Hold others accountable by not tolerating demeaning comments. 1 Engage in supportive partnerships with women. Share your influence, connections, and social capital. Be a mentor and avoid the old boy network.
On this Father’s Day, I, along with my male YWCA Greenwich colleagues have taken a pledge against domestic violence and to do all that we can to support women and girls in our community. We are all connected to women in our lives, through family, work, and community. Raising women and striving for gender equity builds a stronger and more just community. Today on behalf of YWCA Greenwich, I ask the men in our community to join the men of YWCA Greenwich to consider taking on the important role of ally and help YWCA Greenwich to fulfill its mission to eliminate racism, empower women and promote peace, justice, freedom and dignity for all. For more information about YWCA Greenwich, please visit ywcagreenwich.org.