Deep thoughts

Dear Annie: I don’t know if you would ever run my attached thoughts, but just writing them down has really helped me. I didn’t think anyone could compete with Ann and Abby, but you have surpassed them both. Thank you for your wisdom and great, empathetic sense of humor.

We never knew how much our parents loved us, and put up with us, until we had children of our own.

We never knew how dedicated and wise our teachers actually were until we became teachers ourselves.

We never knew how much special people in our lives did for us until they were gone.

We take for granted our good health.

And we never realized how not just physically debilitating but emotionally debilitating it was for our older loved ones to lose their sight, hearing and the ability to walk; to have to ask people for help, worrying about being a burden; and to deal with the fear and reality of being alone.

My 84 years have caught up with me, and I am now realizing how traumatic this stage was for my mom and dad. I regret not really realizing this until now. I regret not giving them more empathy and “more of me” because I was “busy.”

My dad used to say, “You never miss the water until the well runs dry.”

I would like to urge everyone to not take each other for granted and only realize their value when they are gone. Resolve to pay more attention to one another now. And be especially aware of not just the physical trauma but the emotional trauma the elderly must face. Hopefully, then we won’t have to say with regret that we never knew! — I Know Now

Dear I Know Now: Thank you for your very wise insights. I love them and am printing them in the hopes they help others open their eyes and see how much of a gift life is every day.

Dear Annie: I wanted to share with you a poem by William Butler Yeats that I have had pinned over my desk:

Things said or done long years ago,

Or things I did not do or say

But thought that I might say or do,

Weigh me down, and not a day

But something is recalled, My conscience or my vanity appalled.

So, Mortified, who has “cringe attacks” when recalling embarrassing memories, is not alone! — Maine

Dear Maine: I love Yeats and the clever way he wrote about regret. But my suggestion to anyone with embarrassing memories is to let it go. There is a reason the front windshield in a car is so much bigger than the rearview mirror: The past is the past. There is nothing you can do about mistakes you made in the past except apologize to anyone you hurt and do better. Open up to the joy of today.