Rising above the bullying, in Conn. and elsewhere
If the #MeToo movement has taught us anything, let it be this:
Monica Lewinsky is not your punch line.
But her name keeps cropping up, nearly a quarter-century after she first hit the headlines, in an era that has encouraged us to rethink what we believe about powerful men and sexual violence. Most recently, an Idaho restaurant placed on its menu something called a “Dirty Monica,” which is actually a vodka martini with olive brine. The menu is devoted to cheeky asides about famous Washingtonians, so, sure. Let’s add Monica Lewinsky, the self-described Patient Zero for modern-day shaming.
Give the restaurant owners points for political references, but the reaction to the Monica drink was swift on social medial. @MsTickledPink wrote, “I love a good dirty martini! I wonder if they asked @MonicaLewinsky before putting her on the menu.”
Of course they hadn’t. Wrote the real live @MonicaLewinsky: “No. No, they most certainly didn’t. But I hope they’ll donate some of the proceeds of sales of that drink to anti-bullying organizations.”
Do we even need a recap? In the 1990s, Monica Lewinsky was a White House intern who had an affair with then-Pres. Bill Clinton. It didn’t matter what your definition of “is” was. They had an affair, he lied about it in deposition, and he was impeached for lying and for obstructing justice.
In the process, during that era’s midterm elections the Republicans, who’d gleefully hoisted their pitchforks in pursuit of Sinner Bill, lost five seats in the House and gained nothing in the Senate, while Clinton went on to some of his highest approval ratings from a public that decried his shoddy personal behavior, but appreciated the job he did as president. Thena-ffair, First Lady Hillary Clinton also enjoyed a wave of popularity she hadn’t enjoyed before.
Meanwhile, the 22-year old intern was chewed up and spat out as the tart who’d seduced the President. That was the narrative people reached for, and it was wrong. The only thing that mitigated the viciousness directed at Ms. Lewinsky was a blessed lack of social media. But then, we hardly needed Twitter or Facebook. Latenight comedians, fingerwagging journalists, and nasty online comments sent Ms. Lewinsky into a hole from which she emerged only years later. She was mentioned in some 40 rap songs. Even years after the fact, shows like “30 Rock” continue to drop her name into the conversation as a sure-fire way to get a laugh.
I remember long discussions in the newsroom about how to cover the whole mess, in which some of us faced off with (mostly younger) journalists who felt our ire at Clinton needed also to include Ms. Lewinsky. Otherwise, they argued, we were robbing the young woman of her agency.
Yes. But. Given the power imbalance, Bill Clinton bore and should bear the brunt of the shame. To her credit, Ms. Lewinsky never sought to shirk responsibility for her actions, but perhaps #MeToo has encouraged her, too, to think about power structures and how a starry-eyed young woman could be taken advantage of by a Faustian figure with impulse control issues.
As a newspaper columnist, I took one shot at writing about the actual but what I wrote advanced the conversation not a single inch. In this and other pieces, I saved most of my distaste for Clinton, and Kenneth Starr, the special prosecutor who showed a perverted interest in unearthing every nasty little detail of the affair (cigars, blue dress, what have you). Starr and I grew up in the same fundamentalist church, where black is black and don’t even talk to me about the grays, and I believe I can provide scriptural backing on where will be Starr’s home after death, which is hell. That’s not because Clinton’s behavior should have been kept secret, but because of the relish of Starr’s pursuit.
But cheap shots are entertaining, and in that particular column, I wished for Ms. Lewinsky a return to her home state of California, where I said I hoped she’d write a script about the affair, and that the script would remain in development for 40 years.
What does that even mean? And don’t cheap shots qualify me to sit next to Starr, in hell?
The encouraging part of this tale is that Ms. Lewinsky has risen above all our carping, and reemerged as an anti-bullying advocate. Her 2015 TED talk, “The Price of Shame,” is one of the most-watched of the series. I highly recommend the video. I show it in journalism classes.
Nationwide, states – including Connecticut -began passing anti-bullying laws roughly 10 years ago. Most laws are related to online bullying. You can’t legislate compassion, but you can punish the symptoms of a lack of it. I’m glad Ms. Lewinsky is back in the public light. I think we can learn something from her. I also appreciate that she has a sense of humor. Some might choose bitterness. I suppose that sinners Ken Starr and I will hash that out in the afterlife.