Couple can’t stomach diet ‘preaching’

Dear Amy: My husband’s best friend and his wife have permanently settled on a plant-based diet. It has become more than a way of eating for them, but a philosophy that they love to study, promote and (one might say) “preach” about. Their diet has become who they are.

They live in another state. For several years, my husband and I have been guests in their home for a week at a time for sports, sightseeing and relaxing together.

While we are with them, we willingly eat any foods they serve, although when we dine out we sometimes choose non-vegan meals for ourselves.

The past couple of years, the “preaching” has increased to the point where nearly every meal includes conversation about the benefits of plant-based eating, and even while the guys golf or do other activities together, it pops up in conversation.

We have become extremely frustrated. We told them that we are happy they’ve found a diet that works for them, but we choose to continue our own way of eating and do not wish to keep hearing about it — but they don’t stop!

My husband does not want to lose this friendship of many years. We felt we were very direct during our last visit when the “preaching” didn’t stop. Now, my husband is reluctantly considering an ultimatum.

Do you think this friendship has come to an end? Dear Upset: What sort of ultimatum would your husband like to deliver?: “If you don’t stop going on about your plant-based lifestyle, my wife and I will be forced to stop accepting your hospitality during our vacations?”

You say you have been direct with these friends. I suggest that you research some alternative housing for your next visit, in order to relieve yourselves of a portion of these plant-loving lectures. You might try to convey: “We realize that this is like a religion to you, and we’re genuinely happy for you, but can we try to adopt a ‘no religion, no politics’ rule during our visits?

And then, yes, if this couple has become so repetitive that you no longer want to spend time with them, then you will naturally back away from the relationship, because your memory-building encounters have dwindled down to one-sided listening sessions.