Friend in­sists host erad­i­cate gluten

Greenwich Time - - ADVICE/GAMES - Amy Dick­in­son Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. e-mail: [email protected]­bune.com

Dear Amy: Ev­ery year my hus­band and I host a hol­i­day get-to­gether for sev­eral of our friends and neigh­bors. We pro­vide the main dish, a cou­ple of sides and drinks. We ask friends to fill in with other sal­ads, sides and desserts.

This year, with lit­tle no­tice, my friend “Barb” reached out to me via text, say­ing, “This year, I will need you to pre­pare my food dif­fer­ently” — due to her re­cent di­ag­no­sis of celiac dis­ease.

She ex­plained to me that “even a crumb of cross con­tam­i­na­tion” will re­sult in her not feel­ing well. She in­structed me to check all of my spices and in­gre­di­ents, and to thor­oughly clean all of my cook­ing and serv­ing uten­sils be­fore pre­par­ing food for her.

Amy, I was shocked speech­less — and my hus­band was livid. I re­sponded that I would check in­gre­di­ents and try my best to ac­com­mo­date. My hus­band said that if the dis­ease was so dire, she would need to pack her own plate of food.

I was con­sid­er­ing mov­ing moun­tains for Barb when the fi­nal straw came: She asked us to thor­oughly clean our grill grates, should there be any gluten left on them from when we last grilled.

Is our friend be­ing ridicu­lous here, or are we be­ing in­sen­si­tive to her dis­ease?

How far does a host cou­ple need to go out of their way to ac­com­mo­date a guest in this sit­u­a­tion? Gluten-free Hosts

Dear Hosts: You should not at­tempt to gauge whether “Barb’s” dis­ease is as se­ri­ous as she in­di­cates. You should sim­ply as­sume that it is.

In­stead of you com­mu­ni­cat­ing her needs to your other guests who are bring­ing food, you should sug­gest that she con­tact them. With such spe­cific re­quire­ments, she should not trust any­one else to com­mu­ni­cate her ex­act re­quire­ments.

You should as­sume that your best ef­forts might not be enough to de­con­tam­i­nate your kitchen to Barb’s stan­dards, and you should tell her so: “Hi, ‘Barb,’ I worry that I can’t guar­an­tee that all of the food and the kitchen area will be de­con­tam­i­nated the way you might need. It would def­i­nitely be safest for you to bring your own food this year. If you feel you also need to bring your own plates, sil­ver­ware, etc., I as­sure you we won’t be of­fended. And don’t for­get to bring a dish to share with the rest of the group. Look­ing for­ward!”

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