Mom frets about unequal playdates

Dear Amy: My husband and I have two children, ages six and one. We are part of a group of three other couples who also have kids. Our friends all have one child each.

I have noticed in the last year or so that two of the couples are always doing things together with their children. Their kids are 2-1/2 and 3 and they are always going over each other’s houses, going on outings and such.

The problem is that they never invite us!

I don’t know if they are inviting our other friends who have a seven-month-old, but I don’t see that family in the pictures I see of their outings, which are posted all over social media.

These two couples invite us and other friends to other things (showers, holiday parties and birthdays) but not when they go out for playdates with their children. It hurts me that they don’t include my children because we have always invited them whenever we do things.

My husband brushes it off. It doesn’t bother him, but it bothers me.

Now I feel like excluding these families from our lives. My husband will still be friends with them, but I feel like stepping back and not including them in mine or my children’s lives anymore. Can you provide any advice? Dear Left Out: Here’s my advice: Grow up.

The obvious explanation here is that the two couples you cite both have toddlers. One toddler can be a tough go. But get two toddlers together, and magic happens.

If your 6-year-old came home from school and told you that he was upset because, “Joseph invited me to his birthday party but he never invites me over for playdates,” you would patiently explain that friendships come in many forms. It’s OK for people to be closer to some people than others. So yes, these other two couples are parents of toddlers. That’s why they spend so much time together. You should also assume that they genuinely like each other and enjoy one another’s company.

You need to work on broadening your perspective. If you would seriously consider “excluding people from your lives” with whom you have a cordial relationship, then you are ill-equipped to handle the long haul of parenting.

Ask Amy,

P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. e-mail: askamy@tribune.com