Grandfather gets new wife, new will

Dear Amy: My grandfather is well-off. He saved and spent very little throughout his life. For many years, he has promised my mother and me that we would receive a sizable inheritance. My grandmother died several years ago, and we are the only family members he has left.

A few months ago, my grandfather began seeing a younger woman. My mom and I were supportive. They married just a few weeks ago and seem very happy together. However, my grandfather recently called Mom and me and informed us that we were no longer his heirs. He’s decided to leave everything to his new wife!

Amy, I don’t feel entitled to his money. I don’t care if I get the money or not. I am more worried about my mother. She lives on a very meager income, and I know she was counting on the inheritance from her father so she could think about retiring herself. Now, she is depressed and thinks she will have to work herself to death.

Meanwhile, my grandfather and his new wife are constantly sending us pictures of their luxurious vacations.

To be clear, I do not believe my grandfather’s new wife is a gold-digger. She seems to genuinely love him and, being a member of a well-off family herself, she doesn’t need his money. This seems to be purely my grandfather’s decision.

Would it be out of line to approach my grandfather to ask him to consider reinstating Mom as an heir? I don’t care what he does with me, but this has really upset her. Concerned Daughter Dear Concerned: Yes,Ido think you should speak to him about it.

Make sure you reflect your positive reaction to his marriage: “I’m so happy that you have found such a wonderful partner. Shelly is such a nice addition to our family. I understand that you love one another and that you are thoroughly committed to each other. I also accept that you absolutely have the right to do whatever you wish with your will. I’m glad that you informed mother and me about your intentions. However, I feel the need to advocate for Mom...”

Describe her situation honestly. Repeat that you understand and respect his right to do what he wants to do, but ask him to also consider these other factors in his estate planning.