Friend’s stories no longer believable
Dear Abby: Twenty years ago, I reconnected with a childhood friend. When we were in high school together, she used to love telling stories, not all of them true. Most were harmless and cast her as the center of an interesting adventure.
She recently sent me a photo of a now-closed department store and told me she had worked there right after high school, in its pet department. She went on to say she got the job because she had raised tropical fish and was comfortable caring for the animals. The problem with her story is that it was I who had that job. I worked there throughout my freshman year in college.
Thinking maybe she had taken the job after I left, I asked a few questions. But it quickly became obvious that she had snatched my work experience as her own. I couldn’t think of a kind way to challenge her, so all I texted was “Interesting.” Now I find myself not believing any of her stories. Should I challenge her at this late date or chalk it up to more of her “storytelling”?
Stolen Life in Indiana
Dear Stolen: I see nothing positive to be gained by confronting her, but it may be time to ask yourself how much you want to continue a relationship with a compulsive fabulist. She may do this hoping to impress others, or because she feels her life is so boring that others won’t be interested in her if she tells the truth. It’s sad, really.
Dear Abby: My husband of many years died. We were very close. How do I graciously decline visits from people I care about but am not close to? I know they mean well, and I don’t want to cause hurt feelings. I think we may all grieve differently. Even after several months, I’m still not ready to entertain a visitor.
Continuing To Grieve
Dear Continuing: When you wrote that everyone grieves differently, you nailed it. It’s the truth. Several months is still a relatively short time, but please do not isolate yourself completely. You don’t have to entertain, but being able to vent your feelings to friends or in a support group can be healing.
If you don’t want anyone in your home, consider meeting a close friend or two out in public for a brief visit. If your inability to move forward persists, I urge you to discuss it with your physician or your religious adviser if you have one.