Sister isn’t same after tumor removal
Dear Abby: My sister, who was a bright and cheerful star for everyone, was diagnosed with a brain tumor. It was removed with almost 100% margins several years ago.
I will forever be grateful for the fact that she’s alive and OK, but she is not the sister I once knew no matter how hard she may try. I sympathize with her, I listen, I know she struggles because she’s missing her old self. I try, but ultimately, I feel useless. And, selfish as it sounds, I miss my sister, my TRUE sister, terribly.
What else can I do for her? I want to be anything she needs me to be, as she is more than deserving.
Supportive Sis in Virginia
Dear Sis: What your sister needs is you to be her stalwart sister and love her for the person she is NOW. Support her, love her, appreciate that she’s still with you and quit focusing on those aspects of her personality that are lost.
Dear Abby: I divorced my husband of 12 years after catching him cheating with multiple women. About a year after the divorce, I met a great guy. I was quickly introduced to his family and they embraced me, inviting me to holidays and birthday parties, etc.
Four years went by and we started talking about marriage. We made plans to have our wedding at our favorite beach with family and a couple of friends. There were several people we would have loved to take part, but who couldn’t due to the pandemic.
Before the ceremony, my husband and I came up with the idea of wearing white face masks to take a group picture. As the masks were being distributed, his family got angry and said they weren’t going to do anything they didn’t want to do. They then stomped off and wouldn’t participate in the vows or any of the pictures. They’re angry with me, and I am hurt. And the hateful things they said also hurt my husband. I don’t know how to handle this.
Bad Idea in Florida
Dear Bad Idea: What happened was terrible. However, this is the tribe you married into. Your husband’s family may have reacted strongly because they objected to having their faces covered in a photo or to face masks in general. If it was the latter, it’s a shame they felt they had to take a political stance while you were celebrating your nuptials.
Try to be forgiving. However, if you are abused again, it may be time to distance yourselves and concentrate on your side of the family.