Ailing father insists on driving car
Dear Abby: My father, who is 84, just had a mild stroke. The problem is he wants to drive his car. My sister says we should just let him, but I don’t think he’s capable of driving safely anymore. She says we can’t legally stop him from driving.
Dad has occasional dizzy spells and double vision, which started the day he had a stroke several weeks ago. He has also lost a lot of weight and has been told he needs to eat a heart-healthy diet and eat more. Dad has diabetes and high cholesterol. He has had problems with his memory lately, too, and not just age-related.
I think we should be taking care of Dad now and driving him wherever he needs to go. Please advise.
Cautious in California
Dear Cautious: It’s time for a serious family discussion about how to handle this. Your father needs a lot more help than chauffeur service. He needs someone to accompany him to doctors’ appointments, and someone to supervise or administer his medications. He should not be behind the wheel of a car, and I’m not even sure he should be living alone. His doctor should be contacted about informing the DMV about your father’s health status. He may also need assisted living if it’s financially feasible.
Dear Abby: I am 40 years old, and I have been eating a plant-based diet since high school. I’m in great shape, and my doctor is very pleased with my health status. For more than two decades, friends and family have worn me down to where I am running short on gracious responses when it comes to them challenging what I put on my plate. Many times, people feel the need to mention at work or at a party that I’m vegan, and the room immediately is focused on me. Then someone always asks how I get my protein.
I have grown tired of being questioned because more often than not, it doesn’t stop. They tell me how they couldn’t be healthy or couldn’t give up cheese. How can I tell them I don’t want to discuss my eating habits without sounding rude?
Proud Vegan in Oregon
Dear Vegan: Sometimes it ain’t what you say, but how you say it. If you can muster a smile when you reply, “I came here to have a good time, not discuss my diet. Let’s change the subject,” it might end the discussion. Follow it up with, “What’s everybody watching on Netflix?”