Boyfriend is stalking, blackmailing
Dear Abby: I am in a relationship I can’t get out of. I was told by my “boyfriend” that what he’s doing is normal. He says it’s what people who love each other do, and he loves me more than anyone has ever loved me. I have told him repeatedly that I don’t love him.
He drives by my house and follows me to work. He has also watched to make sure I’m going where I said, like to the gym and the store. He tells me that every man wants to have sex with me, and that I dress too sexy. He has monitored Zoom meetings.
All of the watching and following is without my permission or knowledge. He usually tells me about it later, saying he only does it “out of love.” This has been going on for a few years. Why do I put up with it? I have tried to break up. It started after a few months together. But he guilted me into staying, saying he’d be all alone. Or he’d kill himself. Then I found out he filmed us having sex a few times, and he’s threatening if I don’t stay, people will see it.
Please tell me what to do. I have no self-esteem left, and yes, I feel like the slut that I am made out to be.
Anonymous Prisoner
Dear Prisoner: Your boyfriend is an abuser, a stalker and an extortionist. Pick up the phone and call 800-7997233. It’s the toll-free number of the National Domestic Violence Hotline. A counselor there will be happy to offer suggestions on how to deal with your abuser. During the conversation, ask whether his threat to make the sex tape public should be reported to the police.
Dear Abby: Our son died suddenly a month ago. It was a terrible shock. That same day, his mother (my wife) announced, “We are done!” We’ve been married 41 years, but our relationship has always been rocky. She hasn’t spoken to me since.
I have two areas of deep grief and no one to talk with. Any advice would be welcomed.
Mourning in Tennessee
Dear Mourning: Please accept my deepest sympathy. Because you have no one to confide in, it’s important you start talking with a grief counselor about the loss. It will take time to work through the sadness you are feeling in the aftermath of your son’s passing. While no one can blame you for your anger at your wife for her poor timing, once your sadness lessens, you may realize how fortunate you are to finally be freed from a 41-year unhappy marriage.