Siblings disrupt man’s strained life
Dear Abby: My two siblings and I were raised by an abusive, alcoholic father. Predictably, it has adversely affected our mental health.
One sibling struggles with alcoholism and substance abuse.
The other has a personality disorder and cannot maintain stable relationships. I cope with comparatively fewer severe issues, but I still must work hard to sustain a marriage and my career and raise healthy children.
My siblings’ issues have disrupted my emotional health and family life, which is why I keep them at a distance. Lately, they have expressed feeling abandoned. Other family members call me selfish and say I’m obligated to help them because I’m “the successful one.” I do feel some guilt for not helping more. Yet, my emotional bandwidth is limited. Is it selfish to prioritize my well-being by maintaining distance from my siblings?
Their Brother
Dear Brother: Your first priority must be your emotional health. Next should be the well-being of your spouse and children and the career that enables you to provide for them. If maintaining some distance from these siblings is selfish, then call it “enlightened” selfishness.
Dear Abby: I’ve lived in my apartment for almost 10 years and had the same downstairs neighbor since I moved in. About three years ago, I began noticing an odor coming from her apartment.
It’s hard to describe other than the worst body odor imaginable. It’s so bad that I can’t open my windows because the smell drifts into my home.
She is not the type of person I can approach about this no matter how gently I word it. I’m to the point where I feel I should file a complaint with management. It could be a hoarding situation, which could lead to health issues or pests.
There are only four units in my building, and I know my other two neighbors would never complain. It would be obvious it was me. I am desperate for any suggestions.
Disgusted in Oregon
Dear Disgusted: Absolutely discuss what has been happening, and for how long, with the building management company. There may, indeed, be health and safety issues involved. Please do not remain silent.