Anyone can be POTUS. Unfortunately
Do you remember when you were in high school and some goody two-shoes, know-it-all honor student on the student council said that when he grew up, he was going to be president of the United States? Were you impressed? The rest of us wanted to be rock stars or super models or New York Yankees, and some kids, motivated by the spirit of capitalism, wanted to sell weed for a living, since they were so successful doing it in high school.
Years later, guess what happened? The honor student got disbarred from his law practice and went to jail before he could fulfill his dream. In retrospect, he would have been an ideal presidential candidate because he had all the necessary qualifications. And the kids who wanted to sell weed are sitting on top of the world, thanks to the State of Connecticut.
Back then, teachers and parents and coaches and pastors were always telling us that someday we could grow up to be president of the United States and do great things, like getting the country into a war, or raising taxes, or running off with classified documents, or any of the other notorious accomplishments our presidents are known for.
Yes, anyone could be president. (Unfortunately, anyone. Even people without a moral compass.) That sure beats Great Britain, where they say, “Someday you could grow up to be king.” But only one or two guys are eligible.
America has always been a land of opportunity. Anyone can be president and anyone can win Powerball, although your chances of winning Powerball are slightly better. Some, such as Joe Biden, Donald Trump, Barack Obama, Bill Clinton and Richard Nixon, reached the nation’s highest office, while others such as Hillary Clinton, Lowell Weicker and Al Gore fell short of the goal.
As a kid, even I was told, “You could grow up to be president.” What follows is a dramatic reenactment, loosely based on a true story, as they say in Hollywood. Join me at the Sunday dinner table with my relatives …
Dad: “Hey, Ma, JoJo (my name back then) made the fifth-grade honor roll at Sunnyside School!”
Uncle Rocco: “Madone, that’s great! Pass the parmesan.”
Uncle Vito: “You could be president someday!”
Aunt Stella: “Mannaggia, Vito, how many Italian presidents do you know?”
Uncle Vito: “Giuseppe Garibaldi!”
Aunt Stella: “He wasn’t a president! He was a general!” (We’re Italian, so we always end our sentences with exclamation points, regardless of whether we’re talking in Italian or English or cursing under our breath. Especially when we’re cursing under our breath.)
Uncle Rocco: “JoJo could do it! The first Italian president!”
Grandma Angelina: “And if they don’t let him be president, he can be pope!”
(A tense silence descends on the dinner table, since none of them have set foot in church in decades.) For a while, I fantasized I was on my way to the Oval Office. You see, I was president of my junior class and served admirably on the student council, although I didn’t run for re-election. Not because I was disenchanted with the system, the way I am now, but because — I hate to confess this — I was a wuss who didn’t want to lose. Unlike Beto O’Rourke and Stacy Abrams, I could never suffer the agony of defeat and go back for more.
In politics, there are winners and there are losers, and the losers are sometimes the better candidates. That’s the miracle of modern democracy: We Americans are free to choose between two equally defective candidates and are prone to elect the more defective one.
Sad to say, most presidential aspirants aren’t motivated by a desire to make the country a better place for over-taxed, unemployed or retired Americans, struggling to pay their heating bills. They want power and prestige, and they think they have the answers to every problem, even if they’re the wrong answers.
To my thinking, the best presidents are absentee presidents, who spend more time on the golf course than in the Oval Office. If you’ve ever read the novel “Being There,” or saw the movie, you realize great leaders just show up and sometimes aren’t even aware they’re showing up. Doing nothing is a timehonored approach to governance.
What we really need is a president with character, although I suspect it’s easier winning Mega Millions. Nevertheless, we, the people, still cling to the flimsy hope that a person with values will someday lead us, rather than the politicos. What we need is Abraham Lincoln 2.0.
But poor, principled people don’t became president. Professional politicians with billionaire backers do. That’s democracy in action, so thank goodness the New York Times is leading a crusade to save democracy.
We need integrity in the Oval Office. Someone who doesn’t lie, someone who doesn’t cheat, someone who doesn’t pander, someone who does the right thing. Not the right thing politically. The right thing, period.
I hereby nominate Denzel Washington, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson and Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta, aka Lady Gaga. Heck, she could be our first Italian president. Her or Tony Bennett or maybe Andrea Bocelli. And if they don’t become president, they could be pope.