Dad unsure if teen deserves gifts
Dear Abby: I’m writing on behalf of my partner of more than 10 years. He has three daughters ages 23, 20 and 16. While he’s close to two of them, his youngest distances herself when she doesn’t get what she wants or disagrees with his point of view on something.
Eight months ago, she stopped talking to him because he badmouthed a boy band she likes. He tried making contact with her several times when this last episode happened, but she ignored his calls and messages. Now that her birthday is coming up, however, she had her older sister send her wish list to him via a text message. Should he buy gifts for a child who has ignored him for the better part of a year?
Gifts or No Gifts
Dear G.O.N.G.: If your partner’s daughter wants something from Dad for her birthday, she should ask him directly and not telegraph the message through her sister. Your partner should do what he wants to do about her behavior. Stay out of the line of fire.
Dear Abby: With no warning, my mother-inlaw packed up and left my father-in-law. From what she tells me, he was verbally and emotionally abusive, and all-around controlling. My father-inlaw is remarrying. He met his fiancee shortly after my MIL left.
I don’t think I mind that he’s getting remarried, but I do mind that no one has told my husband’s mother. FIL won’t tell her, and my husband won’t either. She has said she “doesn’t want to know anything” that’s going on with my FIL. Not only does she not know, but neither does my husband’s brother. My brother-in-law despises his father.
My husband’s extended family will be attending the wedding. I have immense guilt about going. I feel like I’m betraying my MIL, with whom I have a good relationship. My husband wants me to attend because he needs the support. If I had it my way, I wouldn’t go. I’ve never had a great relationship with my FIL. Any advice?
In a Tough Spot in Iowa
Dear Tough Spot: YKeep your mouth shut and don’t become the town crier. Because your husband says he needs your support, go with him and offer “good wishes” to the happy couple. (From what you have written, they are going to need them.)