Man chooses to stay by ill ex’s side

Dear Dr. Roach: My exwife and I are both 72 and have known each other for about 15 years. Soon after filing for divorce in 2019, she became very ill with an ulcer, followed by lung cancer and the onset of dementia. Then, recently, the cancer came back in the other lung.

People tell me I’m consumed with her health and well-being. I pay what falls short from Medicaid and Medicare so that she can live in a nice assisted living home. I saw her every day in the hospital for three months and often cry when she’s in discomfort. My question is, can I be taking this too far? I just feel that it’s the right thing to do. My mom had a history of helping the ill when I was very young. Am I OK?

Anon.

Answer: I think you are far more than OK. I think you are being very generous. If you have the time, the financial resources and the patience to help a woman in dire need, then I honor you for your dedication.

Dear Dr. Roach: My dermatologist has recommended blue-light photodynamic therapy for facial actinic keratoses. Is this safe? I read that one of the side effects could be memory loss.

K.B.

Answer: Actinic keratoses are concerning because a small number of them will progress to squamous cell cancer of the skin. So dermatologists recommend treating these to prevent skin cancer.

Photodynamic therapy is one of several effective treatments for actinic keratoses. This involves a photosensitizer being put on the lesion, and then blue light is used to effect the treatment.

The most common side effects are local: a sunburn-like rash, tingling or mild pain, and some (usually short-lived) skin changes. It doesn’t make any sense that there would be any memory loss during this procedure to me, but I read the same report you probably did, a report of five cases. These patients had a condition called transient global amnesia, which can be triggered by many factors, such as emotional events and physical activity.