Lack of child support irks fiance
Dear Abby: I divorced my husband of 12 years. We were together for 16. We had a 4-year-old at the time we separated. To avoid possible loss of the 401(k) or to have to pay him alimony, I didn’t ask him for child support. I knew he wasn’t able to afford it at the time. He has since gotten a good job but hasn’t offered to financially support his daughter. My new fiance has no respect for him because of this.
I have let it go to keep the peace so we can co-parent and my now-9-year-old daughter won’t have to see what is going on. This is becoming a problem on holidays because we’ve always celebrated with her together. She has grown to love that we do this for her. However, my fiance doesn’t want to be a part of those special moments. He doesn’t think my daughter would mind, and he doesn’t want to risk losing his cool in front of her.
This is putting a strain on our relationship. Is it wrong of me to want him to fake it so we can all get along?
For Her Sake in Georgia
Dear For Her Sake: Because he can now afford it, your ex should share in the cost of raising his daughter. If you can reach an agreement, have an attorney draw up a document in writing.
Your fiance should not be compelled to interact with your ex if it makes him uncomfortable.
Dear Abby: My husband passed away a year ago from a long ordeal with Alzheimer’s. Before he died, I invited my soon-to-be retired sister to come live with me. I thought it would be good for both of us.
My problem is, I have casually dated several men since my husband’s death. I have welcomed the companionship and the affection I had been missing long before my husband passed. My sister has expressed that I shouldn’t be doing this and has gone so far as to say that she doesn’t want to live in a “whore house.”
I think that, at my age, I should be able to do what I wish in my own home. Are there any options other than asking her to move? Living as I Want
in Washington
Dear Living: No, there aren’t. The sooner you help her find another place to live, the healthier it will be for both of you. Start NOW.